Tales From the Pegasus Galaxy
by x Varda x
Summary: A collection of Rodney centric oneshots. All stories are independent and summaries are at the start of each tale. Styles include: crack, hurt/comfort, humour, angst... in fact, just about anything. Enjoy!
1. Rodney McKay and His Merry Men

_**Disclaimer  
**"Stargate" and all related characters are the property of MGM Television Entertainment._

_**Introduction  
**I have a sudden compulsion to write lots and lots of oneshots and rather than clogging up my homepage with a long list of different stories, I thought I'd put them all together._

_As with my 'Twelve Days' collection, all stories will be independent from each other and will offer a wide range of styles from humour to hurt/comfort, from angst to romance and many things in between. There will be some crack (OTT characterisation and clichés) to follow too. Summaries/ratings will be at the start of each chapter. Obviously I like Rodney the most, so he'll probably feature centrally in a majority of them. I also like it when he gets whumped, so he might get hurt... a little bit..._

* * *

**Summary** – Crack!fic/humour. Rodney finds himself in an unusual situation and must use his 'merry men' to locate and rescue a fair maiden from the evil clutches of a tyrant. Set in early Season Five.

**Rating** - T

_**Rodney McKay and His Merry Men**_

"So, what is it?" Ronon asked.

Rodney sighed and clicked the screen of his tablet a few times, "I don't know yet."

John gave Ronon a knowing smile before turning to Rodney, "Woolsey wants us back in a couple of hours, McKay. It took us an hour to get here."

"I know!" he snapped. He winced and added, "My feet know it quite well too."

He glanced up at the black domed ceiling inside the building they had found. The room was only lit with torchlight and Teyla stood guard by the door. She turned inwards briefly, "We would like to return in time for the film tonight."

Rodney huffed and lowered his tablet down so that he could shoot the rest of his team the best scathing look he could muster. He frowned and said, "Talking to me isn't really helping if you want this done quickly!"

John shifted his feet and drawled, "Alright, McKay. Just hurry it up."

Rodney mumbled and muttered under his breath as he carried on working at the podium in the centre of the room. Ronon absently picked a small branch out of his hair and shrugged. It came complete with green leaves from the forest they had trampled through to get to the building. John smirked at him as he circled the edge of the room. Teyla held her P90 ready and stared out of the doorway into the trees and kept alert for any danger which may try to get them.

Rodney's eyebrows rose up and he said, "That's strange. Hmm."

John paused in his pacing and Ronon looked up. Teyla asked, "What is it?"

Rodney waved a hand about, "Oh, nothing you need to worry about."

John frowned and said slowly, "Well, now I _am_ worried, McKay."

Rodney ignored him and typed a few more commands. He suddenly stepped forwards and his shocked cry was lost in the whooshing sound as a white light came from the podium and enveloped him. It quickly focused on his head and chest. He crumpled down to the floor as he passed out.

* * *

Rodney woke up and groaned. Something was jabbing into the small of his back and he opened his eyes and rolled over to ease the bruise he was sure he had there. He glanced up and saw bright sunlight shining through the gaps in the leafy canopy above him.

He reached up to tap his radio, something pulled on his shoulder and he frowned when he discovered his headset was missing. He tried to hit the main radio in his tac vest, but his hand only slapped the thin material covering him. He glanced down at himself in panic and saw that he was wearing a green tunic and matching shorts. He frowned at the brown boots and raised his eyebrows when he saw that he was also wearing green tights.

"What the hell?" He ground out in anger. "First I pass out and now I'm stripped and changed into this get up. What kind of a planet is this? I thought it was uninhabited."

He jumped when a loud call cut through the trees from a short distance away. "Rodney!"

He quickly stood up and patted himself down for weaponry. He did not find any, but it felt like there was something across his back and slung over his shoulders. He pulled off a bent piece of wood and his mouth opened incredulously, "A bow?! How am I supposed to defend myself with this thing."

There was also a quiver of arrows on his back and he pulled one out and nocked it to the string experimentally. He lifted it up and tried in vain to shoot an arrow at a nearby tree. The arrow fell down and landed at his feet as it slipped from his grip and the bowstring twanged and hit his arm. He sucked in a breath and said miserably, "That's definitely going to bruise."

"Rodney!"

The call came again and he flinched and tensed up. He walked through the thick undergrowth so that he could hide and felt something in his boot. He put the bow on his back again with the string over his chest and crouched down. He found a small knife in his boot and drew it out. His hand shook as he straightened up with the small blade ready.

He grumbled, "Better than nothing, but no good if they've got a gun or their own bow and they know what they're doing."

He trotted behind a large tree and pressed his back to it while he waited.

"Rodney? Oh, there you are. Come on. She needs your help. It's no good running away like that."

Rodney frowned and came out from the tree to face the man who had been tracking him. "Sheppard?"

John smiled and seemed at ease in his brown outfit. He had been spared the tights, but he also had a bow and there was a flat green hat with a red feather wedged on his head. There was a short sword sheathed by his side and he approached Rodney.

McKay lowered his knife and said sincerely, "Oh, thank God! I wondered where you went. What happened in the lab and where are Teyla and Ronon?"

John cocked his head to the side in confusion. Rodney jumped when there was a load crash behind him and he had a brief glimpse of a huge amount of hair before he was drawn into a rib cracking hug.

He patted Ronon's back and whispered, "Nice to see you."

Ronon chuckled and stepped back. Rodney massaged his chest and winced, "You didn't just jump out of that tree did you?"

Ronon grinned and nodded.

"Thought so."

Teyla came next, but she approached silently and was so stealthy that Rodney saw her only a moment before she stood in front of him. Both her and Ronon were also wearing woodland colours and had bows and swords.

Rodney frowned, "What's going on? Why aren't we going back to the gate?"

"Gate?" Ronon grunted.

"Yes," Rodney turned and folded his arms over his chest, "You know. Big circle…" he gestured with his hands, "…with a tendency to lead us into all sorts of trouble in our offworld shenanigans?"

Ronon looked even more confused than John and Teyla pursed her lips. She said, "Perhaps we should focus on our current plight and you may seek this circle of yours later, Rodney."

"Current '_plight_?'" Rodney asked incredulously.

John addressed Teyla and Ronon, "Seems that hit you took knocked what little sense there was out of that big brain of yours, Rodney. Maid Jennifer may have been taken by the Sheriff, but that's no excuse to turn into one of the usual village idiots we always seem to give our winnings to."

Rodney raised his eyebrows and stuttered, "Sheriff? Village idiots? _Maid_ Jennifer's not here… unless, hmm." He paced around the rest of his team mates and crouched down to sheath the knife in his boot.

He suddenly straightened up as the others regarded him curiously. He snapped his fingers and turned to them, "Of course! Movie night! We were going to watch 'Robin Hood' tonight. I've never seen it, but I've seen pictures and obviously know the stereotypes."

He rounded on the puzzled faces and indicated each one in turn, "Friar Teyla..." She nodded and smiled. He narrowed his eyes at Ronon, "Let me guess, Little Ronon."

Ronon grunted and fiddled with a large stick he had just picked up and looked like he was itching to brain someone. McKay swallowed nervously and turned to John, "I suppose you're just John Sheppard."

"Obviously," John said slowly.

Rodney walked away from them and muttered, "It was that podium, something in the lab created this. Either they don't know who they really are as they've been taken over or I'm in a virtual reality environment. Well, I suppose exploring can help me figure this out, so I might as well play along."

He turned back to his merry men as they glared at him. He smiled and spread out his arms, "Sorry about that. Should we go and rescue Jennifer now?"

Sheppard shook his head, "Okay. The castle's close. I say we creep through the gate and break into the dungeon to get her out."

Rodney asked, "Castle? And what kind of plan is that Sheppard? We might as well run in and wave a flag saying, 'Please, kill me now!'"

Ronon chuckled and whacked Rodney's back so hard his teeth rattled and he had to swing the dislodged bow round so that it was on his shoulder again.

He mumbled, "Alright. Rescue Jennifer, complete the program or game or whatever and get out of this."

John smiled and walked away, "Okay. Let's go."

Rodney followed and said, "Does this make me Robin Hood? Shouldn't I be leading this team?"

John spun around in order to give him a brief glare, before he turned back to the front. Rodney held up his hands and widened his eyes and they continued walking.

* * *

"This is the stupidest plan you've ever come up with, Sheppard," Rodney said as they crouched behind a fruit stall in the most atypical medieval castle he had ever seen.

Buxom women and mud streaked men wandered the streets exchanging pleasantries about the weather and the best method for roof thatching. Any mutterings about taxes or the Sheriff himself were quickly silenced by the rough guards everywhere who had their faces veiled and long prodding spears in their hands.

John hissed at him to keep quiet and then suddenly ran out of the cover and into the large open door to the dungeon. He beckoned the others over and together they edged along the dimly torch lit passageway.

Rodney fingered his bow and whispered, "You do know that I can't actually fire this thing, right?"

"Shh, be silent, Rodney," Teyla said.

"But I really can't!"

An elbow in the side from Ronon next to him quieted McKay and he followed John down the steps into the dungeons.

They tiptoed around the patrolling guards and soon came to the corridor where the cells were located. John paused outside a cage with a woman inside. She had long blonde hair and was tied up.

Rodney furrowed his brow at the slumped figure beyond the bars and breathed, "Jennifer?"

The woman looked up and her hair fell away. She started to laugh.

It was not Jennifer.

Rodney felt a rough hand grabbing the back of his shirt and he was flung on his face. The bow fell out of his hand and he gritted his teeth as a boot was placed in the small of his back and quite a lot of pressure from the owner pinned him to the floor until he could hardly breathe. He gasped, "Not a game if I can still feel pain…"

The weight increased and he closed his eyes. All around there were scuffling noises as the other struggled, but the sounds quickly stopped.

A few breathless and tense seconds later, Rodney's arms were grabbed and lashed behind his back. The unrelenting pressure on his back kept him down as a dirty cloth was placed in his mouth and then another piece was tied around his head to gag him.

He tasted mud and filth and tried his best not to retch in disgust. Any such motion would only leave him choking and at worst kill him.

The weight was suddenly released and he was pulled up to his feet.

Todd the Wraith was peering back at him with a pointy toothed smile. Rodney flinched backwards with a muffled yelp and furrowed his brow in fear.

"Rodney McKay. We meet at last. Your little girlfriend was the best lure I had and you fell right into my hands."

Rodney shouted at him angrily and wrestled with the guard holding him still. Todd backhanded him in the face and the muddy taste was diluted with metal as pain exploded across Rodney's cheek from the hit. He frowned at Todd and spoke more quietly.

"I cannot hear you," Todd nodded at the guard who ungagged Rodney.

He spat out the blood and dirt onto the ground nearby and spoke, "I said, where are the others and what happened to Jennifer?"

"It is not quite as easy as that, Rodney McKay. Now that I have you, I have no use for anyone else."

Rodney grimaced, "Well then you can release them."

"I do not think so."

Rodney struggled again and the Wraith holding him drew out a small knife and rested the tip against Rodney's side.

He quietly said, "Alright, alright. What about a bargain then?"

Todd's eyes widened, "I am listening."

"You want Jennifer for yourself?"

Todd snarled and Rodney took it for a yes. The knife pressed into his side until he was sure it was drawing blood.

He winced and no longer struggled. He bluffed, "The rest of my men are hiding in the woods. They have instructions to attack if I don't return in the next hour."

The knife jabbed further into him and he gabbled, "Ahh! Honestly, the entire castle is surrounded. You won't stand a chance. Guh!"

Rodney cried out when Todd reached forwards and grabbed his throat making the knife move away from his side. He drew Rodney up until his face was right next to his own and Rodney received a very intimate view of the Wraith's black and rotten sharp teeth. Bad breath blew over his face as Todd growled, "Alright. I will let you go, but I will keep your men and your woman. If you are lying, they all die!"

The Wraith guard cut Rodney's bonds and he took his cue now that he was free. He crouched down to pretend to tie his non-existent shoelace. He quickly pulled the knife out of his boot and rolled behind Todd.

The Wraith was taken off guard as Rodney jumped upright and rested the blade against the tall alien's throat and pressed until it drew black blood.

Todd smiled as the guard tilted his head and brandished his own blade that he had just used to torment and then free Rodney.

Rodney whispered dangerously right into Todd's ear, "The deal's changed. You're going to release Jennifer and my men (with Teyla). Or I'll slit your throat. I think even the Wraith still have to breathe, so let's see your healing ability fix you before you die."

The whole impact was lessened by how uneven and trembling Rodney's voice was. Todd rolled his eyes and waved his hand at the guard, "Do it." He uttered in defeat.

The guard paused and then nodded and ran away.

Rodney guided his hostage out into the main castle courtyard and Jennifer was brought out with John, Teyla and Ronon. He smiled at them sadly and they watched him in concern.

Jennifer's hair was flowing in the wind and she was wearing a long dark pink gown. She furrowed her brow when she saw Rodney. She called out, "Thank you, Rodney."

McKay widened his eyes as they were marched out of the castle's main gate and the guards let them go. He released Todd and dropped the knife. He knew he was a dead man anyway; whether he killed Todd or not.

Guards quickly ran up to him and kicked his legs out from under him and he landed heavily. He closed his eyes and they wasted no time binding his arms and legs together and gagging him again.

Todd leered down at him with an unpleasant drooling smile and delivered a swift kick into Rodney's side.

McKay screwed his eyes closed more tightly as his arms were pulled up and he was dragged back to the dungeon where many more guards had suddenly appeared since their rescue attempt. He knew that Jennifer was free and safe and that was all he cared about. As long as she was alive he would be happy.

They undid the restraints on his hands and flung him on the floor in the cell. He rolled over onto his back and they clipped tight metal hoops around his wrists and ankles and chained him upright to the wall.

Rodney grimaced and the Wraith left him hanging there and slammed the door behind them.

He whispered frantically in the dark, "If this is just a game…" he winced and shivered, "But I can still feel pain. Maybe when we're all free it'll end and I can get out of here?"

He sighed and allowed himself to sag limply in the manacles. A sharp sting in his wrists forced him to straighten. He hoped they were not going to torture him, real or not, he did not want to experience that kind of pain. He did not think he would last very long, unlike Sheppard or Ronon or even Teyla, who could probably endure ten rounds of torture and still come out with only physical scars to show for it.

* * *

It felt like Rodney had been standing in doubt and fear for days when a quiet picking at the cell door started. He kept his silence and bit his lip while he waited for the door to swing open so that he could be carted off for a session of whatever Sheriff Todd of Nottingham had in store for him. His stifled laugh turned into an embarrassing whimper and he grimaced and trembled.

The door opened and Rodney closed his eyes and muttered, "No, no, no, no. It's not real. I'm not here. Come on. Wake up, McKay. Wake up!"

"Sure, you should wake up. We're getting you out of here."

Rodney frowned and glanced up at John standing in front of him. Ronon was already working on the manacles and soon had him free.

Teyla stood at the door and said quietly, "We must leave. The guard may awake at any moment."

Ronon grunted, "Not after that hit."

John smiled and caught Rodney as he was freed from his restraints. McKay rubbed his wrists and winced. He laid his hand on the place where Todd had kicked him and pressed experimentally. His breath left him in a whoosh and he gasped at the bruise he had just reawakened.

Ronon said, "Let's go."

They made their way out of the dungeon. Rodney limped slightly where one of the shackles had dug into his ankle. They had to pause a few times when Teyla raised her hand to halt them due to an approaching guard.

Rodney was glad the game or his mind had also made the guards as inept as he always thought they would be. They were soon sneaking through the dark streets as night had fallen while Rodney had been held captive.

They snuck out of the castle and soon had cover in the forest nearby.

Rodney stopped and panted. He clutched his throbbing side and rested his other hand on a tree.

John came over and said, "We need to keep moving, McKay."

"I know!" Rodney huffed.

John grabbed his upper arm and pulled him along. Rodney grudgingly followed and they slowed to a walk. Ronon was very noisy but no sound at all came to indicate exactly where Teyla was.

They reached a clearing and John whistled into the black canopy where moonlight was casting a glow on the scene so that they could see.

Jennifer approached and John whispered into Rodney's ear, "You're safe now. We'll make sure no-one followed."

Then the others were gone and it was just Jennifer with him.

She smiled and drew him into a hug. Rodney winced as she squeezed him tightly and pain flared from the bruise. He held her against him and she said, "Thank you for saving me, Rodney. I'm glad you got away before they did anything to you."

She moved back a little and kept her hands on his sides as she stood on tiptoes and put her lips against his. Rodney moved his hands up to hold her head and closed his eyes.

A sudden light broke through the darkness pressing in on his eyelids. He opened his eyes and blinked at the sunlight filtering down through the trees above. Jennifer had gone and John leaned into his line of sight where he was lying on the ground.

He patted Rodney's face and said, "You with us, McKay?"

"Go 'way."

There was a low chuckle behind him and he rolled onto all fours and John helped him up. He saw the building was back and Teyla was standing nearby with her eyes sweeping the forest around them.

Rodney frowned in confusion. They were all back in their offworld gear. He asked, "What happened?"

"A light from the podium decided it wanted to get to know you better," John answered. "You fell over and you whacked yourself pretty darn hard on the console."

Rodney pressed his side again and winced. He asked, "How did I get out here?"

Ronon answered, "Dragged you out."

Teyla called across to them, "For air."

John rolled his eyes, "It was a bit more scientific than that. I suggested we should get you away from the source and see if that broke the link."

"Well it did. I think I know what it is, but I want to analyse it more before I try that again."

"What?" Ronon mumbled.

"It was a game played out in my head. It tapped into what I was thinking at the moment it read my mind and then created a world based on that. It had quite a structure and clear goal to achieve and only let me wake up once it was complete."

John nudged him, "We should get back or Atlantis will be calling us."

Rodney had no reluctance to leave this time.

They wandered through the forest back to the gate. Rodney turned to John next to him and said, "I don't want to watch Robin Hood tonight after that."

John furrowed his brow and smiled, "That bad, huh?"

Rodney grimaced and nodded as he held his side again. When John fell back to follow behind him, Rodney smiled happily as he remembered Jennifer approaching him in the moonlight and all but calling him a hero before she kissed him. It may have only been his fantasy, but it had felt so real.


	2. Umbreon and the Shunned Espeons

**Summary** – Adventure/hurt/comfort. The team visit a planet where the locals have an unhealthy obsession with an animal native to their world. Yes, yes, they are Pokemon, before you ask :P

**Rating** - T

**_Umbreon and the Shunned Espeons_**

"What the hell is that?" Rodney asked in alarm as he levelled his P90 at a furry white and brown creature gazing up at him with mournful eyes. It was about knee high and quite cat like in appearance apart from its completely black oval eyes and large ears.

"It doesn't look vicious," John called over his shoulder as he continued to walk through the dense forest.

Rodney kept standing there with his gun still aimed at the creature. It meowed quietly up at him and then ran back into the undergrowth. Rodney sighed shakily and rubbed his face with his free hand as he clutched the P90 ready.

Teyla smiled behind him, "They are native to this world. They have never harmed any humans without good cause."

"Good cause?" Rodney asked incredulously.

"Don't give them one, McKay," Ronon grunted at the rear of the group.

Rodney huffed and they continued to walk through the forest. They soon came across a wide and very well paved footpath and followed it until the trees ended and opened out into a large valley with a well built town in the middle.

People were in the fields and more animals were around. The sun shone down on them and gave the whole scene an unnaturally bright quality of light.

A large cat like creature came bounding up to the team and peered around at them. It was about waist high and its tail split in two at the end. It had similar eyes to the animal they had met in the forest, but its gaze reflected a calm and calculating intelligence as it gazed around at the visitors and settled on focusing its attention on Rodney. The whole impression was slightly lost as the animal was covered in bright purple fur.

"And I ask again, what the hell is _that_?" Rodney asked as it glared at him. He was fingering his P90 again and the animal suddenly narrowed its eyes and Rodney cried out and grabbed his head. He sunk down to his knees and pitched over sideways as the animal walked over to him.

He writhed and pressed his hands to his temples as the rest of his team raised their own guns.

"Bad Eppy! Bad! Leave him alone!" A young man cried and came running over to them.

Rodney was panting and whimpering and the animal cocked its head and swished its tail as its eyes left the man it was attacking. Its overly large ears twitched towards the boy approaching.

Another animal ran at the purple one hurting Rodney. This one was black and about the same size, except it looked more like a dog. Blue bands encircled its large ears and tail and ovals of the same colour were on its upper legs. Its eyes glowed yellow and the purple animal, Eppy, ran away.

John helped Rodney up to his feet and fine tremors wracked his body as he tried to control the pain still flaring in his head from the assault. He gasped, "What was that?"

The man patted the unusual black dog and said, "It was an Espeon. They're a bit of a menace around here. Our Umbreons like Shining Umbra here keep them at bay."

"What did it do to me?" Rodney asked with a grimace as he continued to rub his temples.

"They're psychic and they don't usually attack humans unless they sense ill intentions."

Rodney frowned, "Are you saying that that thing read my mind?"

The man nodded grimly and his Umbreon regarded the team suspiciously as it sat there obediently.

He said, "I am Trainer Jayek, you should join me in the town and I can show you around."

John smiled back at him, "I'm Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, Teyla Emmagen, Ronon Dex and the man with the bad thoughts is Doctor Rodney McKay."

"Charming," Rodney deadpanned and finally lowered his hands away from his head.

They followed Trainer Jayek with Shining Umbra along the yellow path. On either side of the road there were many more people with Umbreons, but they looked slightly different. Rodney was still grimacing and flinching every now and then as though he was still in pain. Teyla stayed next to him in case he collapsed and John drew alongside Jayek.

He asked, "Why do those ones have yellow bands and circles unlike yours?"

Jayek smiled and scratched the animal's ears. He said smugly, "Shining Umbra is very rare among his kind. He wins all the competitions."

Rodney drew out his hand scanner and abruptly stopped, "Oh, I'm detecting a massive power reading!"

Teyla asked, "Where?"

Rodney turned in a circle, "All around us!" He tapped the screen a few times and approached Shining Umbra where the others had also stopped to wait for him. He pointed the scanner at the animal and it started to growl.

"Yes, just as I thought. These animals are channelling massive amounts of energy!" He looked up at Jayek eagerly, "Have you ever tried to harness their energy to power anything electrical or any kind of technology?"

Shining Umbra's growl deepened and Jayek started frowning. Rodney moved even closer and the animal suddenly jumped at him and bit his wrist. Rodney shrieked and dropped the scanner as he muttered in panic, "Get it off me! Ow ow ow! Let go!" He shook his arm and Jayek grabbed its tail and pulled it away until its jaws opened and released Rodney.

John was looking angry, "Can't you keep that thing under control?"

Ronon had his blaster drawn and aimed at the animal and Teyla looked uncomfortable.

Rodney was holding his bleeding wrist against his chest with his eyes closed as he sucked in loud breaths in pain.

Jayek folded his arms defiantly with an expression similar to the animal he was supposed to be controlling, "Only if you keep your unpleasantness to yourselves."

Rodney gasped, "I can't help what I'm thinking."

Teyla quickly stepped in before things got even more out of hand, "We should go to the village. Trainer Jayek, do you have anywhere where we may tend our teammate's injury? We are also very interested in discussing an alliance and possible trade agreement between our peoples."

John smirked, "Take us to your leader."

Rodney shot him a deeply sour look and then went back to feeling sorry for himself, "I think it's going to get infected. We should go back to Atlantis before it kills me."

John looked concerned and nodded.

Jayek waved his hands in an open gesture, "We have healers in the town who can help your friend. Let me take you to them."

John tilted his head slightly and then agreed, "Alright, but we can't stay long."

Rodney grumbled about gangrene and tetanus all the way to the town, but was not attacked again.

* * *

"You know what? That does actually feel better, even though this place is obviously a vet," Rodney said as an impossibly beautiful woman with pink hair rubbed an ointment into the nasty puffy bite on his wrist and then carefully wrapped a bandage around the wound.

John rolled his eyes and looked around the centre they were in. Umbreons sat about in the waiting room with their owners and he caught sight of a purple blur dashing through the room and quickly hiding before it was seen. The Umbreons sensed it though and several of them bristled and growled quietly.

Teyla asked, "Why do they not like each other? They are fairly similar in appearance apart from the colour."

Jayek frowned, "They evolve from the Eevees in the forest. We take them in and train them until they are happy enough with their owners to change."

Ronon mumbled, "So how are they different?"

"They evolve either at day and turn into Espeons or night to become Umbreons. We prefer the night ones as they are so much stronger."

Rodney tested his wrist and then nodded at the nurse as he stood up and asked, "Evolve?"

"Change their form permanently."

"I know what it means!" he snapped. "But evolution takes place over millions of years so how is that possible?"

"Stay for the ceremony tonight and you shall find out." Jayek said mysteriously.

John glanced at his watch, "It's only half an hour before nightfall. I don't see why we can't stay."

"I will then be able to introduce you to our leader for your discussions."

Rodney muttered, "I'm still dying here from dog bite infection," but the others ignored his complaining.

* * *

"Have you ever met the Wraith?" Teyla asked Jayek as they sat in the stands of a small stadium in the dark a little while later.

"Wraith?"

John drawled, "Long white hair, nasty pointy teeth in their hands, a fine taste for life."

Jayek frowned, "No, but our Umbreons are very powerful and can hide us if necessary. There are some old paintings about creatures from the sky who were once driven away by the Great Umbreon many centuries ago."

"Hmm, interesting." Rodney said where he was sitting behind them as he peered down at the scanner again. Shining Umbra was sitting next to him and sniffling at the bandage wrapped around his wrist.

Rodney patted it away and it started growling again. He glared at it and said, "Leave me alone, can't you! I'm busy."

The stadium was noisy and people with Eevees came out one by one into the main arena and looked up at the moonlit sky above.

Shining Umbra kept glaring at Rodney and its blue features glowed ominously as the scientist got more annoyed with its presence. He virtually shouted, "Sheppard, can't you move this thing away!"

The Umbreon roared as a thick green substance sprayed from its skin onto Rodney's tac vest and then it ran back to Jayek.

Rodney grimaced and wrinkled his nose, "Ugh! That's _so_ disgusting!" He tried to use a tissue from his pocket to wipe it away from his clothes, but did not have a lot of luck. He sighed and gritted his teeth.

John, Ronon and Teyla were transfixed by the ceremony as the Eevees glowed white and then formed into Umbreons in the arena.

Rodney's clothes started steaming and he looked down at himself as the fumes made him cough. The tissue had dissolved in his hand and he cried, "Oh no! What's going on?"

He suddenly realised in fear that the substance from the Umbreon was highly corrosive and melting through his tac vest. He cried, "Help!"

John smirked, "If it's another Umbreon trying to get to know you, McKay, I'm not interested."

Rodney stood up and hastily unzipped his tac vest. He could not help getting some of the goo on his hands and wiped them on his trousers in panic. He threw the article onto the floor and winced as some of the acid had burnt through his shirt and given him nasty chemical burns on his chest and abdomen.

He gasped, "Now can we go back?"

John still had not noticed what was going on as he was transfixed by the ceremony, "No, McKay. Sit tight and we'll leave later. Play with your scanner or something."

Rodney had had enough. He grabbed the handle on John's tac vest and winced as the new burns all over the palm of his hand pressed, "Oh oh! That's not good."

Teyla turned around and her eyes widened, "Rodney!"

He furrowed his brow and sunk back down in the chair he had been in and his shirt billowed slightly in the breeze of his movements. There were two large holes and his skin underneath was oozing blood into the material.

Tears leaked from his eyes and he closed them tightly as he trembled.

Teyla touched John's arm, "We need to leave, Rodney has been hurt."

John frowned, "What?" He turned around and baulked at the sight of the bleeding wounds. He stood up like a shot and ran to his friend. Jayek and Shining Umbra continued to watch the proceedings smugly and Jayek rubbed his Umbreon's head contentedly.

John pulled out some bandages and with Teyla and Ronon's help they wrapped them around Rodney's torso and hands. They had none left for his legs where he had rubbed his hands on his thighs, so had to use John's hastily torn jacket to bind the injuries.

Rodney was panting and said shakily, "I think it's still burning through. I don't think I can last much longer. It hurts too much."

Ronon pulled Rodney up and supported him, "We need to hurry."

John shouted at Jayek, "What did that animal do to McKay?"

Jayek looked at him innocently. "I do not know! Maybe it just did not like him."

"Can your healers help him?" Teyla asked.

Jayek glanced at Rodney, where the white bandages wrapped around his quaking frame were already spotted red. He answered flatly, "No and Umbreon will not either."

Ronon roared, "He doesn't deserve to die because you can't keep your pet under control!"

Jayek did not answer and went back to watching the ceremony.

Rodney was getting weaker and less responsive as the acid ate through his skin and he continued to bleed and moan.

Ronon was almost fully carrying him by the time they left the stadium and he sagged down to the ground. John helped them to lower Rodney down onto his back just as a muffled cheer came from the stadium behind them.

Rodney curled up on his side and shook violently.

Teyla furrowed her brow, "I do not think he has a lot of time. We will not be able to make it to the gate in order to save him."

John nodded, "I know! But what can we do?"

"Perhaps I can help?"

All three of them rapidly spun around and came face to face with an elderly man with a long white beard and a walking stick taller than himself. John crouched down and held Rodney's shoulder as spasms wracked his body and he continued to whimper and moan as the acid melted through him.

"I am Renza, the leader of the Umbrans."

Rodney was noisily sucking in air between his gritted teeth as he slowly lost his battle, but he remained conscious and in a terrible amount of pain from the acid.

"Help him? How?" John asked.

Renza smiled sadly and drew forth two small red and white glowing orbs in his hand. A flash of white light later and an Espeon and an Umbreon were standing in front of him.

"Both? But I thought they hated each other?" Ronon mumbled.

"That is not true. They should work in unison and it is something I am ashamed to admit, but Umbreon _is_ slightly stronger than Espeon. My people have become obsessed to a point of blindness with Umbreon. They no longer realise that both of them together possess more power than is imaginable."

Rodney started sobbing and rocked back and forth on the ground as tears streamed down his face and he hugged his arms around his torso.

"Stand back!" Renza cried.

John, Teyla and Ronon complied and Renza pointed his staff at Rodney.

He looked down at the animals in front of his and called, "Umbreon, Moonlight! Espeon, Morning Sun!"

Brilliant and blinding white lights came from both animals and completely enveloped Rodney for several seconds. When the light dissipated, the rest of his team ran over to him and John grabbed his bandaged hand. Rodney winced and stopped shaking. He looked up at Teyla in fright and said, "Wh-what was that?"

Renza walked over and said, "A powerful healing spell. Your injuries should be healed enough for you to return home. I will also ask Psykey to accompany you in the forest so that you are safe."

Rodney was prodding the bandage around his middle and gingerly pulled it away. It was soaked through with his blood. When he removed it, his skin underneath was bloody, but smooth and there was no evidence of the acid burns.

The large catlike Espeon trotted over to Rodney and nuzzled its purple furry head into his chest. He laughed and stroked it as it licked his face and meowed softly.

"Psykey, play nicely," Renza chuckled.

He then addressed the others, "I am sorry we did not meet under better circumstances. Jayek is not the best ambassador for my people as his attachment to his unusual Umbreon has made him arrogant and he believes that he can get away with anything. I do hope that you return soon and we may discuss the trade agreement you have in mind."

Ronon frowned, "How do you know all that?"

Rodney was still lying on the ground and had his hands in the thick fur of the Espeon gazing at him lovingly. It paused and turned back to Renza.

Renza sighed and smiled, "The psychic power goes both ways. If you own an Espeon for long enough a link if forged and they can show you things that other people are thinking and feeling."

"Cool," John said with a smirk. He then turned and looked down at Rodney, "Looks like you've made a new friend there, McKay."

Rodney smiled and the Espeon licked his face again. Renza furrowed his brow, "Of course their psychic powers make them very empathic and it probably knows what you just went through as much as you do."

Rodney grimaced and the Espeon rested its paws and head on his chest and purred comfortingly. He stroked its large head and ears and felt calmness and peace flowing through him.

John said, "Come on, McKay. Let's get back to Atlantis and have the infirmary check you over for permanent damage. We can come back later to start the negotiations."

"And check out the energy readings more thoroughly," Rodney added.

Rodney allowed himself to be helped up and they bade farewell to Renza and his Umbreon.

Espeon followed them all the way to the gate and stood watching them intelligently as they dialled Atlantis and went home. After they had gone, it cocked its head and blinked knowingly at the DHD.


	3. To Fall From Thee

**Summary** – Angst/Drama. Team Atlantis visit a world in the Ancient Database, but have to use the Daedalus to reach it. There is an accident and the Asgard Transporter malfunctions. Set during Season 2 – a few months after 'Trinity.'

**Rating** – K+

**_To Fall From Thee_**

Sheppard and his team rematerialised in the middle of a barren, rocky wasteland. The air was thick with dust and the sun was unable to penetrate through the gloom, which hid their surroundings in a light grey and brown veil.

Rodney immediately pulled out his small scanner and started fussing over the nearest boulder.

John said, "This is just like Star Trek! Cool."

Rodney looked up from the grey rock he was examining and said, "So, if you're Captain Kirk and I'm Spock, what does that make Buffy and Angel over there?"

Ronon and Teyla shared a confused look over the references they did not understand and appeared unsure whether to take it as a compliment or insult.

John smiled as he peered into the mist, "Just because we had to get the Daedalus to give us a ride to this planet you found in the database…" He spun around and looked at McKay and sized him up, "Anyway I think you're more Scotty than Spock."

"And why is that?" Rodney snapped.

"Well, you're more into tech than plants and things."

Rodney lifted his chin and folded his arms, "I'll have you know, I've got a very wide field of knowledge and expertise!"

John started looking around the scenery again as he replied teasingly, "Sure, whatever you say."

Rodney opened his mouth angrily, but John cut him off, "So, is this the place or what?"

Ronon and Teyla visibly relaxed, but remained vigilant for any possible danger.

Rodney sighed heavily and turned around to peer at the scanner and the rock again. "I don't know. There's too much interference from a mineral in the rock. That's why we had to get beamed down to each planet in this system in turn to see if our eyes or the Ancient scanner could find anything the Daedalus sensors couldn't pick up."

"Why's every planet the same?" Ronon asked.

"Hmm, well they were all made out of the same material as they would've formed together with this system. It is unusual, probably why it was in the database. I don't know why there's no stargate anywhere, unless it was destroyed somehow."

John titled his head knowingly and drawled, "Like that's ever happened before…"

"That was months ago, Sheppard!"

John smiled, "I know, but I'm just saying, gates can disappear off the grid for _strange_ reasons."

Rodney's frown deepened and his shoulders tensed in annoyance. He started to wander off towards another one of the rocks and his team flanked and followed him. He rubbed his eyes and grimaced, "Ugh, this stuff's going to stay on my chest for weeks and give me pneumonia." He coughed harshly and winced.

John shrugged, "The readings came back negative for any harmful agents. As long as we don't stay too long we'll be fine."

Rodney crouched down and picked up a loose pebble and turned it over in his hand. He angled the scanner down at it, "Hmm, I don't think this is the place."

Ronon asked, "Just another bag 'em, tag 'em sample run then?"

"Very eloquent," Rodney said in a long suffering voice. "Although I'll be the only one on 'tag 'em' duty, unlike last time, Mr Labels Everything 'a rock…' oh, and, 'another rock.'"

Ronon chuckled and scooped up some dust and dropped it into a small plastic bag he had retrieved from somewhere. No one asked or wanted to know where he had been keeping it.

Teyla watched over him and Sheppard turned to McKay, "We're together then?"

Rodney nodded and walked a short distance away from the others with Sheppard behind him. "Just a few metres and we can grab some more samples. Don't want to be…"

John was suddenly the only one standing upright. Rodney just vanished into the mist, which was now thicker than it had been when they first arrived.

He shuffled forwards very slowly and carefully. He suddenly stopped and his eyes widened when he realised he was standing on a ledge. He called out into the gloom, "McKay?"

There was no reply. He knew that if Rodney had fallen down there and was unresponsive, he could be hurt… or worse. John tapped his radio, "Sheppard to Daedalus."

"_Caldwell."_

"Lock onto McKay and initiate an emergency beamout straight to the infirmary."

"_Standby."_

John frowned and gritted his teeth while he waited. It was strange that he had not heard Rodney shout or cry out as he fell. He must have been too shocked or the particles in the air muffled the sound before he had been able to recover to make any noise.

"_There's a problem, Colonel,"_ Caldwell said.

"What kind of 'problem?' Did you get him?" John asked slowly.

"_Yes and no."_

"Well either you did or you didn't."

_"Sorry, Colonel. You'll need to come back up. Hermiod is preparing the auxiliary transporter for you and the rest of your team. Prepare for beamout."_

John carefully walked back to Ronon and Teyla. He could not hear them, but he followed the obvious boot prints in the dust.

"Is something wrong?" Teyla asked as Ronon stuffed an overly large knobbly rock into a sample bag too small for it.

"I don't know yet. We're going back to the Daedalus. Something happened to McKay."

Ronon straightened up and hugged the sample bags tightly as Caldwell signalled them ready for transport and they once again disappeared in a brilliant white light.

* * *

John and his team were transported directly to the bridge. He had barely been formed before he asked, "What's going on?"

Caldwell was standing up, "Dr McKay is still trapped inside the Asgard Transporter buffer. Hermiod advised that there is an error in the rematerialising protocol. He is currently working to find a solution to the problem."

"So his atoms are bouncing around in some kind of container?" John asked.

Caldwell nodded, "In layman's terms…"

"Well, can't Hermiod get him out?" John was starting to feel his veneer of calm cracking as he did not understand what the hold up was. How could it be so difficult to beam someone up? They had done it countless times and now the transporter had gone wrong with one of the brightest men in the galaxy at its mercy. He sure hoped that Hermiod was as clever as he had heard.

Caldwell gestured to the rear door of the bridge, "I'm just going down to engineering myself to find out exactly that if you would care to join me, Colonel."

John nodded and glanced at Ronon and Teyla. Teyla's face was tight with worry and she furrowed her brow. Ronon almost looked impassive, but John could tell there was a faint trace of concern bubbling away beneath his emotional shield.

* * *

John, Ronon and Teyla followed Colonel Caldwell into main engineering, where several humans were walking around busily and Hermiod was standing behind his console. There was a schematic on the display behind him, but John could not understand it, only that it was covered in red lights and text, and red meant bad.

John let Caldwell go first on his own ship and waited impatiently for the update on what was going on. Caldwell went straight to Hermiod, "Report."

The small alien looked up at him and said in an even voice, "Dr McKay's pattern is trapped in the transporter buffer. The safety protocols initialised the moment we beamed him off the planet. It appears that there is an error being caused by a build up of kinetic energy around him. The transporter will not allow him to rematerilise without us overriding the protocols."

"So, override it," John said in a slow and patronising voice while he waved his hand at the console.

Hermiod narrowed his eyes and Caldwell asked him, "What caused the error?"

"The particles in the atmosphere interfered with the transporter's ability to eliminate the kinetic energy. We cannot safely rematerialise him as he will still be falling when we do."

Hermiod turned to John and his team, "Was Dr McKay moving when he was beamed up?"

John looked down and said, "Probably."

Teyla looked horrified, "How?"

John furrowed his brow and his eyes were tight when he looked up at the others' accusing glares, "I think he fell off a cliff."

Even Ronon looked shocked at his revelation, but Hermiod started muttering in his oddly metallic sounding Asgard tongue as he tapped on several panels.

He looked up at the gathered people after a few seconds and switched to English again, "We must find a way to disperse or drain the kinetic energy from the buffer. If we override the safeties in place without doing so, then Dr McKay will rematerialise at the same velocity as when he was falling."

"_Splat!"_ John thought and grimaced.

Hermiod looked down at the console only he could see and continued, "Dr McKay's pattern will eventually destabilise and holding him in the buffer is consuming a huge amount of energy. We are unable to go into hyperspace while it is still online. That is not all though…"

"This better be good news…" John warned.

Hermiod narrowed his large eyes slightly, "I am afraid I cannot comply." He turned to the display behind him, which switched to show a very distorted sensor analysis of the extremely high vertical cliff Rodney had fallen off.

Hermiod turned back to Sheppard, "When Dr McKay fell, it is likely that he dislodged some of the material at the top of the cliff. There is a high probability that several small pieces of rock were also beamed into the buffer as well as his clothes and any equipment he was carrying of course."

John frowned and Hermiod replied in the same unemotional voice, "This is always the outcome during an emergency beam out."

Teyla furrowed her brow, "Are they hurting him?"

"No. The buffer acts as a method for holding matter in stasis, but the longer we leave it, the more chance there will be that the different patterns will merge."

John baulked and Ronon grunted, "That's bad, right?"

"Very. If that happens, Dr McKay will almost certainly die the moment he is rematerialised. Of course, we must first solve the kinetic energy problem. I believe you are organising a meeting in the briefing room to discuss options, Colonel Caldwell?"

The Colonel nodded and John, Teyla and Ronon followed him as he led the way to the briefing.

* * *

John entered the crowded briefing room. It looked like Caldwell had called just about the whole crew together for the brain storming session. John would have enjoyed it if the situation had not been so dire. Rodney was trapped in some machine somewhere with all his molecules scrambled. John took comfort that at least his friend could not feel anything, but he still could not shake the image of Rodney being torn apart like that and left for more than a fraction of a second in the state. His own experience of the transporter was just a mild tingling, but certainly not pain. He sighed and slipped round the back of the room with Teyla and Ronon.

They all shared an equally concerned look.

John knew the scientists on the Daedalus where exceptionally bright, but they were unlikely to be a patch on McKay or the others on Atlantis who were out of reach.

Caldwell clapped his hands to silence his crew. "Okay, here's the situation. Dr McKay is trapped in the Asgard Transporter buffer. He was falling during the emergency beamout and Hermiod has advised that the kinetic energy cannot be dissipated by the buffer so he is locked in a loop inside it until we override the safety protocol. More specific details are on the data pads you all have."

Some of the people started to jabber and Caldwell's loud voice cut above the murmurs, "We need options on the double, Hermiod estimates Dr McKay has little time before his pattern is lost when the buffer automatically resets and purges. I don't care how crazy your idea may sound; we're not ruling anything out at the moment. You've got ten minutes."

The gathered people quickly split up into groups and left the room to find some space to work and talk.

Ronon was frowning in confusion, "Can't we do anything?"

John looked at him sadly, "Not unless we get doctorates in the finer workings of Asgard technology in the next minute or so."

Teyla pinched her features together, "Is it not just a matter of slowing Rodney down enough for him to be captured by the transporter beam again?"

John narrowed his eyes, "Yes, but I think the boffins around here are probably going to focus more on the technology rather than a practical solution like that."

Ronon grunted, "Well then they've got it all backwards. They'll never save McKay in time."

"That's why we're here," John said quietly. "We don't know about the tech, so we can find a different way around the problem." He looked up at Teyla and Ronon as they watched him. He said, "So, how do you slow someone down who's falling through the air?"

"Parachutes…" John said as he looked away. "Lower gravity or no gravity, perhaps opposing gravity, hmm."

Teyla and Ronon were looking confused. Teyla said, "What about using water as a cushion for his landing."

John glanced at her, "Possibly, depends how fast he's moving, otherwise it'd be like slamming him into concrete, which is what we're trying to avoid."

Teyla looked back at him in fright.

* * *

The ten minutes went by far too quickly for the scientists, but not fast enough for John to hear their solutions.

Hermiod had also joined them and went around each group and listened intently to what they had come up with. He did not reply, but absorbed all the information along with Colonel Caldwell next to him. After more precious minutes had gone by, he went to the front of the room. Caldwell did not need to hush anyone this time as they watched the Asgard in rapt attention while they awaited his conclusion about their plans.

He gazed back at them without blinking or flinching and said, "It is not possible to eliminate the kinetic energy in the buffer. I have analysed all of your plans, but any tampering at all with the system will fuse the signals and kill Dr McKay.

"So we're back to square one?" Caldwell called out to his crew in disappointment. Disgruntled murmurs had started as they muttered to each other unhappily about the dismissal of their efforts.

John stepped forwards with Teyla and Ronon behind him in support, "Not quite. We have a few more ideas to run by you and Hermiod."

The rest of the crew filtered out of the room to continue brain storming while Sheppard spoke to Hermiod, "What about beaming McKay into the bay and switching the gravity? We could install some plates over the doors so that he's got the whole length to fall and deactivate the normal ones. Maybe beam him so that he's going the other way and keep going until he stops?"

Hermiod narrowed his eyes, "That will not work. I will be unable to control which way he falls and we could end up increasing his speed."

Caldwell nodded, "He might just hit the walls anyway."

Teyla said, "What about using a planet with lower gravity to slow his fall?"

Hermiod only considered it for a fraction of a second before he replied, "Unfortunately there are none in this system and even if there were it would take us too long to reach them."

"Wish we had a Jumper," John said. "I'd offer to grab him in mid air as he falls using an F302, but they're far too clumsy." He continued in his thoughts, _"More likely he'd end up like a giant bug crushed onto the windscreen. That would crack the glass and take several goes through the car wash to scrape off the paintwork." _John grimaced and looked up again.

He did not know whether he was getting better at being around the small unashamed alien, but he could swear he saw something behind those big black eyes, despite his lack of emotion. It was the same hopelessness which he felt too, so maybe he was just reflecting it in what he saw in the faces around him.

John looked at Caldwell intensely and said, "Parachutes."

Caldwell cocked his head, "I'm listening."

* * *

John stood in the hanger bay completely covered in protective clothing. He was clad all in black and no portion of skin was open to the air. He adjusted his goggles and pulled his gloves on more securely.

Teyla, Ronon and Caldwell were standing with him and behind them a large number of medical staff were ready with an alarming array of equipment. John was comforted by the sight of their gear but hoped they would not need to use any of it.

John checked his parachute cord was accessible, or he would end up trapped in the buffer and facing the same fate as Rodney. Eventually his atoms would be recycled into the buffer for use as energy to power the ship's other systems. He grimaced at the thought, but his expression was hidden behind the black mask over his mouth. He then examined the clips and ropes hanging loose which he would need in a few minutes. He knew the skydiving course he had taken would come in handy one day, but not quite like this when so much was at stake.

The atmosphere was clouded by the misty rock particles, so he had Ancient scanners affixed to each forearm to detect transponders. One showed the vertical reading and the other, the horizontal. He knew he would probably only get one chance, so he asked Hermiod to beam him and Rodney back down to the planet at the highest altitude Rodney would be able to survive without any breathing apparatus or specialist clothing.

Hermiod replied over the radio from engineering, _"The rock particles will eventually erode away his clothes no matter what altitude you enter the atmosphere. The process will be very fast. I estimate only two minutes before his skin will be completely gone."_

John grimaced again and looked at the frightened faces of the others around him. He now knew that Rodney's concerns over the harmful effects of the atmosphere had not been misplaced.

He did one more check of his gear and nodded, "I'm ready."

Caldwell tapped his earpiece, "Go ahead, Hermiod."

The others stood back and John braced himself. Suddenly he saw a flash of bright light and then the bottom dropped out of his world.

* * *

John spread himself out flat to slow his descent. He looked at the scanners on his arms and saw a reading a few metres away and slightly further down than where he was. Visibility was as good as zero and if it were not for the falling sensation in the pit of his stomach, he would have had no idea that he was thousands of metres above the ground and plummeting fast.

He twisted his body so that he could use the air he was slicing through to change his position and get closer to Rodney.

He soon had his horizontal position as equal as he could to Rodney's, but the vertical was still a long way off. He tucked his arm in tightly and tilted his head down to dive. He kept his vertical arm scanner ahead of his face and spread out again just before he reached Rodney's transponder.

He looked around, but still could not see anything. He used the scanners to fine tune his position and his radio activated, "You have one minute left, Colonel."

John gritted his teeth and willed the air to take him to his friend. He soon caught a glimpse of a black shape nearby and drifted over to it. He sighed in relief and tried not to hit Rodney too hard as he barrelled into the other man. He hastily wrapped his arms around Rodney's upper body before they flew apart again and clipped the ropes and buckles together so that they were securely attached. He had no time to check on Rodney's condition and quickly pulled the cord on his chute.

The snag of the material was instant. He was using a heavy duty chute, but it would only slow him down for so long before the material was destroyed by the particles in the atmosphere.

He said, "I have him and my chute's deployed!"

He then held onto Rodney's chest under the scientist's arms. They already knew the ground was far too rocky and dangerous to land on. Coupled with the poor visibility and they were looking at broken legs at least, so John had suggested something else. White filled his vision once more as he was grabbed by the transporter with his precious charge. Hermiod had overridden the safety protocols for this particular transport.

* * *

John's body was pulled around the twisted under torsion the moment he rematerialised in the Daedalus' hanger. The added weight of McKay's limp form against his chest only made the momentary savage movement worse, but he had little time to ponder it. He made sure he landed under Rodney as they fell from the ceiling and into the hastily erected and very deep crash mats on the floor.

The impact completely winded him, but he was glad he had landed first even though Rodney crushed all the air out of his lungs. He opened his eyes after he could breathe again and patted Rodney's face from behind as all he could see was the back of McKay's head. He started unclipping himself from his friend and said, "You can get off me now, McKay."

Rodney did not acknowledge John's bravery in what he had just done or that he had even spoken. He just lay completely still as an immobile mass weighing down on John.

John finally freed all the clips and rolled them both over. The medical team were struggling over the crash mat and John removed his gloves and the coverings over his head and tossed them aside before he felt Rodney's neck for a pulse. McKay's face and all his uncovered skin had been scratched by the particles in the air like he had been dragged along sandpaper and bled where he was badly scraped and grazed in some places.

Rodney's eyes suddenly flew open and he started opening and closing his mouth like a fish. John frowned and asked, "What's wrong, Rodney?"

The scientist remained conscious and he writhed slightly and clutched his throat. His expression became more panicked and John called out the medical team just behind him, "Hurry! He can't breathe."

Rodney furrowed his brow and grimaced sadly as his eyes closed again. John stepped back and the medical team swarmed around and checked over Rodney. After a few seconds one of them said, "Dr McKay, I'm going to sedate you so that we can intubate to help your breathing. You'll feel a sharp scratch; do not be alarmed."

John watched as they put a board under Rodney and removed his tac vest. One of them slid a nasty looking tube into his mouth and another started squeezing a bag attached to the end outside him.

They lifted him up and quickly carried him away to the infirmary.

John hopped off the crash mat and Caldwell gave him a tight smile while Teyla and Ronon looked on with their expressions torn between relief and worry. Caldwell patted John's back and said, "That was some fancy diving, Colonel. You should join me one day."

John looked back at him incredulously, "You…?"

Caldwell nodded again and John and his team left him to follow the medical team and find out about Rodney's condition.

* * *

The Daedalus infirmary was small considering the number of people aboard the ship, but it seemed that everyone on duty was currently crowded around the single patient they had just received. No-one noticed as John, Teyla and Ronon slipped into the room and watched and waited at the edge.

One of the medical team had cut away most of Rodney's clothing and there was a darkened patch of skin just beneath where his ribs ended. Another one palpated the area and their eyes widened. They called, "Scanner!" and it was placed into their outstretched hand.

They ran it over Rodney's chest and said, "Definite foreign object very close to his diaphragm which is why he can't breathe. We'll need to remove it. Prep the OR."

Teyla asked, "Could it be one of the rocks inside him?"

John grimaced, "Possibly."

One of the med team heard them and called, "Get them out of here, please."

* * *

"Why aren't you dead, McKay?" John asked a few days later. The Daedalus had taken them straight back to Atlantis and Rodney had been deemed well enough to be transported to the Lantean infirmary. He had been unconscious at the time and John doubted he would have been very keen had he been awake and aware of what was going on.

"I love you too," Rodney said quietly. Every breath pained him and Carson had topped up his meds so much he was only just about coherent for a few minutes an hour.

"That rock was imbedded right in your chest and it took me a couple of minutes to reach you in the air and at least another minute before the Daedalus med team got their hands on you."

Rodney frowned and winced. His face was still red and sore from all the scrapes and his hands were bandaged. John was glad he had had the self preservation instinct to close his eyes otherwise he would have been blinded.

Rodney said softly, "Maybe it only shifted after the second beam. Carson told me it was somewhere else before the second one. I think he mentioned my liver, but I was a bit out of it while he was talking. That's probably why it hurt so much and you pressing your hands against me didn't help either."

John raised his eyebrows, "You're welcome, McKay."

"Hmm."

John saw that Rodney was flagging again and asked, "So, any ideas why those planets were in the database? Zelenka says the rocks are unremarkable, but bear a resemblance to pumice."

Rodney glared at him, "I don't know!"

"Perhaps they used them to rub their feet and exfoliate after a long day of Wraith hunting and ZPM making," John said helpfully.

"Yes, exactly like what happened to my skin during your crazy stunt. Although that was a little too close for me and I don't think the aim of exfoliation is to completely rub away skin until you start bleeding."

John frowned when Rodney blinked slowly so that he did not see the expression.

Rodney said quietly, "Next time we take a Jumper."

John shook his head, "That wouldn't have saved you from your lemming impression. In fact, if the Daedalus hadn't been there, you'd just be a smear of human jam at the bottom of that cliff."

Rodney grimaced, "Thank you _so_ much for that image, Sheppard. I feel better already."

John smiled, "Just doing my best to help."

Rodney fiddled with the sheets under his hands and John asked, "How long till they let you go?"

Rodney sighed and screwed up his face briefly as he held his breath. After a few seconds he said, "Not long I hope, but if that joyous twinge just then was anything to go by, Carson'll keep me in here for weeks."

John nodded sympathetically.

Rodney glanced at him tiredly and said, "They're probably making sure I don't have another rock imbedded in me somewhere or a scanner beamed into my leg or something."

John smirked and gazed up thoughtfully, "That'd be quite useful."

Rodney closed his eyes, "Although from what I heard an arm would be better."

"Hey, who told you that?" John asked indignantly. But Rodney had already drifted off to sleep again.

John sighed and leant back in his chair while he maintained his vigil.


	4. Fight Club

**Summary** – Friendship/humour. Exactly as it says on the tin.

**Rating** – K+

**_Fight Club_**

**Round One: McKay vs Teyla**

"Fighting sticks?!" Rodney whined as he stood in the gym. "Why does it have to be those?"

Teyla twirled hers around and whacked his left side as he kept it completely open to attack. He fumbled his own sticks around in a dramatic, yet totally useless gesture and she hit him in the chest. He stumbled backwards and clutched himself.

"That _hurt!"_ He said indignantly as he looked at her with his brow furrowed. She glared back at him sternly and continued to circle.

She said, "Then hit back."

Rodney ran at her and she quickly stepped aside and jabbed one of her sticks into his back. He cried out and bent over holding himself with his head down and his eyes closed.

Teyla said evenly, "The enemy will not listen to your pleas for mercy, nor will they stop attacking you if you tell them they are being effective."

Rodney panted and said, "You're not my enemy."

Teyla approached him slowly. "No, but one day, the person who stands in my place will be."

Rodney straightened up with a hiss and crossed his sticks. He blocked one strike aimed at his upper arm, but Teyla used her other stick underarm and it easily went through his feeble defences and poked him just below the sternum.

Rodney fell over and held his midsection. Teyla frowned and lowered her sticks, "Are you alright, Rodney? I did not hit you that hard. It will not bruise."

"Not hard? Coming from a half Wraith hybrid, that's like saying sprinting into a wall doesn't hurt."

Teyla furrowed her brow when Rodney whimpered and hugged his arms around his torso as he lay there on his side with his legs bent. His sticks had been abandoned where he had let go of them the moment he landed on the floor.

She went over to him in concern and he suddenly rolled along the floor and grabbed her legs. The motion took her by surprise and she was astounded when he used his weight to pull her to the ground as he himself stood up and they swapped positions. He slammed her down onto the mat and grabbed the sticks she was holding and twisted them out of her hands.

Teyla raised her eyebrows up at him and he rested one of the sticks on the side of her neck and released a triumphant, "Ha!"

She rolled her eyes and said slowly, "Yes, very good, Rodney. Well done."

She did not have the heart to tell him that she had allowed him to take the sticks away for fear of injuring him in the counter move she knew.

* * *

**Round Two: McKay vs Ronon**

Ronon brought his long wooden sword across himself and easily parried the half hearted swipe Rodney made at him. He countered and sent Rodney staggering backwards. He had barely tapped the other man on the chest with his own weapon, but it seemed that even the lightest blows caused an unusually high amount of pain for him.

Rodney winced and coughed. He blinked his eyes tightly closed a couple of times and then glared back at Ronon. He snapped, "I still need to be alive in half an hour! I've got lots of work to do! Broken ribs and internal bleeding will kill me!"

Ronon came at him again and their sparring swords clashed with a knocking sound. Ronon was stronger though and swept Rodney's away and whacked his arm.

Rodney gritted his teeth and swapped the sword to his non-dominant left hand as he held his bruised arm against himself. Ronon raised his eyebrows and said, "Good. You need to know how to defend using your other hand."

Rodney looked back at him in horror and brought his wooden sword slowly and unsteadily forward. He missed the first stroke through the air when Ronon dodged and smacked his counter into Rodney's exposed flank. McKay squealed in pain and curled his hand against his side where he had been hit. "What the hell was that for? I thought this was supposed to be sparring, not a 'see how much you can make McKay bleed' session."

Ronon shrugged and spun his weapon around as he circled the man nearby. Rodney eyed him angrily and Ronon felt pride. He grunted, "Use the anger."

Rodney drew in a deep breath and roared in a high pitched whine as he lifted the wooden sword above his head. He suddenly staggered and sunk down to the floor in a heap. He closed his eyes and muttered, "My brain, and by association, my head, are very important to the survival of this expedition. I've told you a thousand times already! Don't hit my head!"

Ronon frowned, "I didn't."

Rodney blinked up at him from where he was lying on the floor and asked, "What?"

Ronon gestured at the dropped sword and said, "You hit yourself on the head when you moved it back. Good strike, McKay. A lot of power."

Rodney grimaced up at him and placed a hand against the top of his head. He moved it down in front of himself, but there was no blood. He rolled his eyes and let a grinning Ronon help him up.

Ronon patted him on the back and said, "That's enough for today. Same time next week."

It was a statement, not a question, but Ronon still heard Rodney mumble under his breath, "Not if I can help it."

* * *

**Round Three: McKay vs Sheppard**

_Whack!_

_Patter…_

_Whack!_

_Patter…_

John lowered the pads he had strapped over his hands and Rodney also let his bunched fists drop to his sides. He cocked his head at John and asked, "What?"

"Your left punch is hardly doing anything, McKay."

Rodney frowned and looked at the red knuckles on the back of the offending hand. He held it up and showed John as he raised his chin and said haughtily, "What about that, hmm? I think my broken fingers say otherwise."

John shook his head and sighed, "To be an effective fighter, your strength should be equal in both of your hands and feet."

"But I'm right handed!" Rodney looked down at his bare feet and continued, "I don't think I have a preference over my feet though. They're both as good as each other."

John sighed and walked to the edge of the room. He picked up a larger kick pad and went back over to Rodney. He said, "Alright, let's see what you can do. Just a few front kicks. Nothing too strenuous."

The first one was too low and nearly caught John's knee. He did not think it would have done any damage though, as Rodney just flicked and waggled his foot in the general direction of the pad.

"Higher!" John ordered.

Rodney kicked again, but he completely missed as he had not judged the length of his leg correctly. He overbalanced as he tried to compensate and landed heavily on his straightened leg. He cried out and fell down.

John crouched down next to him and put the pad to one side as he asked, "You alright?"

"I think I broke my knee," Rodney grimaced.

John looked down at Rodney's leg and raised an eyebrow as Rodney bent it up. "Looks alright to me. Probably just a sprain."

"Oh there's that sympathy I always get." His sarcastic tone turned on and his voice became more nasal as he continued, "My ears are ringing with it and I feel so much better. Thanks."

John smirked and grabbed his hand and pulled him upright. He picked up the kick pad and held it out towards Rodney again. He bounced lightly on his feet as he taunted McKay and said, "Ready for another round?"

Rodney gritted his teeth in annoyance when John blocked his path to escape from the gym.

"Come on, McKay. You must feel angry enough to land a whopping punch or kick every now and then. Show me what you've got."

Rodney snarled and lifted his knee up and delivered a kick straight and true to the middle of the pad. John was so convinced that Rodney was a pushover that he had not braced himself properly and fell backwards. Rodney looked at him on the floor in shock and said, "Oh, I don't know where that came from!"

John smiled at him and took Rodney's hand as he let himself be helped up. "That was great. An excellent start and definitely something we can work on. You need to learn how to do it when I'm not goading you on though."

Rodney frowned in fury.

"And when you aren't so angry," John added with a knowing smile.

* * *

**Round Four: McKay vs Science Team**

"_Ah, yes, a fight I can finally win,"_ Rodney thought as he entered the main science lab for a team meeting. _"No punching, kicking, biting or poking and whacking sticks to contend with."_

He raised an eyebrow at his team and thought,_ "At least not literally…"_

He smiled to himself, but it quickly fell when he tried to move and ended up limping stiffly along to take his place at the front of the gathered group. He held a hand against his side and winced. He blinked slowly and then frowned in anger at the concerned and somewhat relieved looks he was getting.

They were all expecting a verbal sparring match! He opened his mouth and said, "Right! You've got your assignments. But you're all working far too slowly. I don't know what's got into you, but this isn't a picnic and I will not tolerate people who think they can just cruise along."

The concern had vanished and been replaced with outright hostility. Only Radek still looked a little worried and Rodney folded his arms over his chest and flinched as he pressed them against a painfully bruised rib. He lowered his arms back down and decided that he would rather not show his current weakness in front of his team if they were ever going to take him seriously and bother doing any work.

"I don't have time to pander to you or shout at you all day long to get you to do your jobs! That would be a waste of time that you could spend catching up on the backlog."

He clapped his hands together and the bruise on his arm jarred and a throbbing pain ran up to his elbow. His next shout was a little weaker, "Come on. Get to it."

The scientists were watching him curiously and he snapped, "Go away and do some work!" He sighed heavily and sunk down into the chair behind him as they scurried away.

Radek came over and asked, "Are you feeling alright, Rodney?"

"What what? Yes. I just got beaten up by my team."

Radek's face fell in worry. "Do you want me to call the infirmary?"

"No no. They don't take me seriously anyway. My team would just laugh at me if I went there anyway. They all said it was nothing and they assured me they weren't hitting me that hard."

"If they are causing you pain, you should mention it to them."

Rodney pressed his hand on his side and winced. He glared back at Radek and said, "No. They already think I'm a complete weakling. I tell them they're hurting me and they ignore it or hit me even more."

Radek rested a hand on Rodney's shoulder and said, "Just hit them back twice as hard."

"I can't!" Rodney whined and narrowed his eyes.

"I did not say physically," Radek said with a sly smile.

Rodney leant forwards and asked quietly, "What did you have in mind?"

Radek quickly outlined his plan. It involved swapping Teyla's fighting sticks with balsa wood ones. Mixing syrup into the water in Ronon's shower and smearing strong adhesive that only started to work when it was touched onto John's golf clubs.

Rodney added a few more of his own at the end, including introducing a small static current through the floor in Sheppard's quarters that would be 'hair raising' for at least a few hours after he left. They continued to scheme and plot their revenge and Rodney gradually felt his pain lessening as they talked.

* * *

_A/N – I also cracked myself over the head with a wooden sword at karate in exactly the same way as Rodney here; (glances around) "Shhh! Be cool! I don't think anyone saw that…" Um, ouch!_


	5. Forget Me Not

**Summary – **Angst. Rodney goes on a little night time wander. What does he find and how does it affect him and those around him? Why is everyone suddenly ignoring him? Set in early Season 5.

**Rating** – T

**_Forget Me Not_**

Rodney stalked along the corridor on Atlantis as he tracked down the power drain he had just discovered. It was in the early hours and he assured himself that he would find the source, shut down whatever was siphoning off the energy and leave trying to find out what the thing was until the morning.

Rodney glanced down at his scanner and narrowed his tired eyes when a few blurry life signs flashed on there for a moment and then vanished. He stopped in his tracks and blinked slowly at the small device. He then clicked his radio, "McKay to Control Room."

"_This is Control."_

"Is there anyone working over on the West Pier tonight?"

"_No, Doctor, just you at the moment."_

"Hmm." Rodney disconnected his radio and sighed. He was probably just sleepy and his eyes were playing tricks on him. He turned the scanner into an energy reader and started walking again.

He heard voices floating along the corridor from the direction he was going and slowed right down and padded lightly with his feet so that they would not hear him coming. He swapped the scanner to a life signs detector again and his frown deepened when he still saw the solitary blip on the small screen. He rubbed his eyes and looked down again, but it was still just him.

He did not have a tac vest or a sidearm. He had had the foresight to clip a tool belt around his waist and he selected the biggest screwdriver from the equipment he had and held it ready in his hand if he needed to defend himself.

He could not understand the language of the people speaking and he reasoned that maybe another one of the projectors had been inadvertently activated. He hoped that he was just being paranoid that he needed to be armed and ready. He could not help his hands shaking though or prevent his heart from hammering in his chest as the fear caused his adrenaline levels to rocket.

He rounded the corner and swallowed nervously as the incomprehensible speech got even louder. He called out, "Hello? Who's there?"

The voices stopped.

Rodney muttered, "Way to go, McKay. Alerting potential hostiles of your position and that you're coming."

Unless whatever was in the room was voice activated and he had turned it off. He hoped so, but he could not prevent the weight of dread in the pit of his stomach as he peeked around the open door and into the lab where he had been aiming.

Rodney yelped in fright when he saw that there were five Wraith in the room and they were all looking straight at him. Rodney ducked out of the doorway and started to run. He did not have a chance to radio for help as stun shots whipped past him. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the Wraith had moved a large device out into the corridor and were pointing the sharp end of the thing directly at him.

Suddenly his vision was filled with red and he lost control of all his muscles as they tensed and then relaxed. He flew through the air and landed heavily. He slid along the floor on his front for a few metres and when his head connected with a wall, the red turned to black.

* * *

Rodney woke up and groaned as a circle of pain ran around and then right through his head. He kept his eyes tightly closed and waited to see whether the pounding headache was going to diminish now that he was more alert.

Instead it got worse and he started to feel nauseous. Rodney kept his eyes closed and placed his hands on the floor on either side of himself where he was lying facedown. He pushed up and the alarming dizziness which enveloped him threatened to send him back down again.

He gritted his teeth as the pain in his head ramped up and throbbed with every heartbeat. He narrowly opened his eyes and reached up to tap his radio, but the tiny earpiece was missing. His vision blurred as he tried to focus on his watch to see what the time was. As he blinked down at the unreadable dial, he noticed a darkened patch on the floor where he had just been lying. He squinted at it and saw that it was dark red. He moved a trembling hand down and put his finger against the floor and drew it up.

His digit was coated with the red liquid and Rodney's addled brain connected suddenly with another flare of blinding pain. He whispered, "Blood. The device and the Wraith!" He started to crawl along the floor and muttered, "I have to save the city." But he could not focus and the movement made the nausea and debilitating headache increase tenfold.

He could feel his whole body shaking and held his head with one hand in a valiant effort to calm the turmoil within. He was unsuccessful and lost the contents of his stomach as he was violently sick.

He grimaced and crawled around the mess to continue up the corridor. He wished the sickness could make the headache go away, but the pressure in his head from the retching made it even worse and his vision started to lose cohesion around the edges as white stars encroached on what little he could see.

He groaned and slurred, "Sheppard? There are Wraith in the city. I thought Teyla was supposed to be able to sense them?"

He winced and kept moving. He did not know where he was going or how far away the transporter was. He could only vaguely remember what had happened before the darkness. Any other attempted thoughts were chased away by the angry throb they caused and a return of the tightening of his throat indicating that he was going to vomit again.

He blearily crawled to the side of the corridor and his stomach muscles protested after his next bout of sickness when all he lost was bile and then there was nothing. He clenched his teeth as the acid burnt his throat painfully and his vision darkened.

He fell over sideways, clutching his head and moaning. He rolled over onto his back and the bright lights in the corridor pierced through his eyelids and made it feel like the beams of light had turned into stabbing knives in his head. He rested his arm over his face and turned onto his side and curled up. He wrapped both arms around his head to shield his assaulted senses from the pain of the brightness and whimpered.

He was unsure how long he lay there, but between the pain and fighting away the sickness he lost track.

A voice broke through the loud sound of rushing blood as it went past his ears. "Rodney?" The floor vibrated under him and each jolt sent needles into his skull and he curled up even more until his head was tucked against his knees.

"Rodney! I need a medical team!"

Strong hands took hold of his arms and he felt them pulling his unresisting hands away from himself. "What happened?" The voice asked.

Rodney forced words through, even though the connection with his head made him wish to pass out or die soon as it was too much to bear. "There are Wraith in the city. In the lab near me. They shot me with something."

"Teyla?"

"I am not sensing any Wraith."

Another voice grumbled, "It's probably _that_ causing it. Is that his brain?"

"Quiet, Ronon!"

Rodney scrunched up his face and could not pry his eyes open, nor did he want to, because the light was back now that someone had removed his shielding hands. He tried to find the muscles belonging to his arms so that he could cover himself again from the agonising rays, but he could no longer move at all.

"You have to check the lab. They could be anywhere by now," Rodney insisted.

Whether anyone replied or not, he was unsure as he could no longer hear anything except the steady thumping of his heart in his chest.

He felt pressure on his arms and ankles and stronger hands under his back and he felt himself leaving the hard floor and landing on something far softer. He whimpered again and despite how tightly he closed his eyes, they were still forced open and a penlight tracked across each pupil in turn. He shook violently and said, "I feel sick…"

Hands forced him to sit upright and there was pressure on his back pushing his head between his knees. He retched and the hand on his back rubbed a circle and indiscernible words with a smoothly comforting tone about the female lilt came to his ears. He was lowered back down and blissfully floated away as he felt the bed underneath him suddenly moving and jolting as they rushed him away from the corridor. The last thing he said weakly was, "You have to find the Wraith!"

* * *

Rodney woke up and found that he was lying in a bed in the infirmary. He fiddled with the sheets to try and distract himself from the bolt of fiery pain spreading between his temples. He could hear a heart monitor next to him going far faster than his nerves could stand, but no-one had come running yet to find out why.

"The Wraith in the city!" he cried and sat up. He winced and immediately fell back down in agony from the movement.

He closed his eyes tightly and gathered up some of the sheet in each hand and clenched his fists down. He gritted his teeth as the pain did not diminish and he felt the nausea returning. He inhaled a ragged breath and hissed.

"Okay, this is ridiculous." He glanced blearily around the room, but he was the only one in the infirmary. Couldn't they even take care of one person? Or had they all decided to skive off work today? Jennifer though…? Rodney had hoped that she of all people would care more about him than this. Even as his heart pounded and he furrowed his brow in pain, he felt sadness grip him that the infirmary staff were ignoring him. They had obviously been away for a while and neglected to bother giving him any blissful, but necessary painkillers.

He unclenched one of his hands and his fingers trembled as he reached across. With great effort, he depressed the call button at the bottom of the wire hanging down next to the bed and tilted his head back and closed his eyes. He willed the throbbing ache in his head to either go away or allow him to pass out soon.

He waited in agony for what felt like a quite long enough for someone to respond and then pressed the call button again. Still no-one came. He shouted out, "Hello? In pain here." But his voice was weak and the volume jarred his throbbing head.

"Suppose I'll have to do it myself then…" he mumbled and pushed the covers away. The heart monitor flatlined when he unclipped the lead attached to his finger. The piercing whine cut through his brain like a lance and he gripped the sides of his abused head tightly and covered his ears as he groaned.

He stumbled over to Jennifer's office and leant heavily on the doorframe. She was sitting in there clicking away at her computer. Another nurse walked past Rodney and clipped his shoulder which sent him spinning and nearly crashing to the floor when he lost his support.

He asked, "Can't you see me?" But she did not turn around as she proceeded over to Jennifer and they spoke briefly.

Rodney walked over to them and said, "Hello? You have a patient here."

They continued to talk amongst themselves and Rodney felt panic building up in his chest. He leant over and rocked slightly as he clawed his hands against his head and his eyes started watering. "Drugs would be good right about now." He fell to his knees and sat on his haunches.

"Jennifer?" He whispered and pitched over to the side as dizziness and nausea overwhelmed the pain in vying for his attention.

The nurse suddenly spun around and Jennifer followed her gaze. She exclaimed, "Rodney! How did you get here? You should've said something."

"I… did…" he said quietly.

Together, the nurse and Dr Keller helped him up and back to the bed. She gave him some tablets and reattached the monitor. He was in too much pain to say anything as it jabbed his head in unrelenting waves. The nausea had lessened now that he was not standing up.

Jennifer squeezed his shoulder and said, "Get some rest. I'm sure you're just tired."

"What about the Wraith?"

Jennifer frowned, "Colonel Sheppard and his team have done a full sweep of the area. They didn't find any."

"But…" Rodney started.

Jennifer placed a hand on his forearm to quiet him, "He told me they are on full alert and will make sure there are none."

"Do you think I'm lying?"

Jennifer pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes as she calculated her response, "No. But head injuries can alter memories and perceptions."

Rodney sighed sadly and closed his eyes. The gentle pressure on his arm increased briefly and then disappeared. He heard footsteps going away from him and then drifted off into numbing sleep.

* * *

Rodney woke up on his own volition again. His voice produced a cracked groan through his parched throat due to the painfully hungry ache deep in his belly. The headache had nearly gone though and he at least had that going for him. He blinked a few times to clear the sleep and saw his watch on the bedside table. He reached across and looked at it.

His eyes widened in shock when he saw the time, "3pm! What the hell?"

He was surprised no-one had woken him up. A nurse walked past his bed and he called out, "Hello? I'm hungry!"

She ignored his plea and kept walking. Rodney looked down at himself and patted his chest. "I'm here. I'm here." He chanted in fright. His body felt fairly solid, at least to him.

"Unless I'm a ghost and they can't see me." Terror gripped his heart and he said, "Perhaps I'm dead?"

He closed his eyes and said calmly, "Okay, that's enough of that, McKay. Must've just been something you said."

He pushed the covers back and stood up on shaky legs. He needed food and water or he would pass out again soon and he did not hold much hope of being found, even right in the middle of the infirmary, before he went into hypoglycaemic shock and died unnoticed.

He went into the office and Jennifer was still there, hunched over her computer. Rodney walked right over to her and said, "Hi. Um, is it alright if I get something to eat?"

She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. She retied her ponytail and then went back to her computer. Rodney could not keep his eyes off her golden mane and he smiled as she remained oblivious to his interested gaze.

"Dr Keller?" She continued to ignore him so he went over and lifted his hand. He hesitated for a moment to touch her, but he did not see that he really had a choice. If he was indeed dead and just haunting the place of his death, then he knew he could do no harm as his hand would just pass through her.

He held his breath and lowered his hand down and it contacted with a very solid shoulder. He released the air in his lungs in relief and said, "Jennifer?" in the exhalation.

She jumped and looked up at him, "Rodney? What are you doing here?"

He pointed to his head and said, "Injured. Remember?"

Jennifer frowned and narrowed her eyes, "Yes. But that was last night. Why are you still in scrubs? Weren't you discharged while I was off duty this morning?"

Rodney furrowed his brow, "No."

Jennifer raised her eyebrows, "Well, I don't see any reason to keep you here. You can go."

Rodney frowned in confusion. He let go of the warm shoulder under his grasp and she turned back to her computer. He asked, "Don't you have any tests you need to run?" His eyes widened and he held up his hands to her and stuttered, "No-not that I need any more needles!"

She was ignoring him again and Rodney sighed miserably and left her there. He walked back to the bed and saw that it had been remade in his absence. There were no spare clothes for him, so he picked up his watch and left in silence.

He made his way back to his quarters and noted with some degree of panic that no-one gave him a second glance or even so much as a curt nod in greeting, and he was always the one moving out of the way to avoid being knocked down. He shouted at them indignantly, "Hey, I'm walking along the corridor too!" But they refused to acknowledge his presence.

When Rodney reached his quarters, he ate a couple of power bars and downed a whole bottle of water from his secret stash. He then showered and dressed and examined his face in the mirror. There was a neat row of stitches just beneath his hairline and he sighed sadly as he poked and tested them and they stung.

He knew there was an offworld mission scheduled for his team later, so he thought he might as well try and track the Wraith down himself while he waited. Jennifer had not said he could not go, so he assumed he was clear. He needed to go anyway to investigate a possible Ancient outpost they had found in the database. He would not allow anyone else to get there before he had had a chance to take a look first.

* * *

Rodney sighed angrily as his head started paining him again where he was perched on a seat in the control room. He squinted at the sensor readout for the area where he had been the night before. At least he hoped it had been the night before and he had not been in the infirmary for over 24 hours.

There was nothing on the log other than his life sign slowly moving along the corridor towards the lab, stopping and then running back before it became still. He winced at that part and the headache returned in full force. He held his scalp and massaged with his fingers in a vague attempt to numb the pain.

A female gate tech suddenly came up to him and gazed right through him as he looked up at her and frowned. She proceeded to barge him out of the chair and take his place. "Hey! What're you doing?"

She ignored him and did not seem ruffled about the shove she had just given him. He waved a hand in front of her face and when she did not notice, he held it right over her face. She blinked slowly and leant back and rubbed her eyes.

Rodney furrowed his brow in confusion and then gave up. He took his hand away and used it to tap his radio, "McKay to Sheppard." No reply. "McKay to anyone?"

"This is getting ridiculous now!" He huffed in exasperation and decided he would have to go looking for the Colonel to figure out what exactly was going on around here. Had there been an email sent round advising everyone to ignore Rodney McKay today?

He was just walking down the steps in the gate room when he spotted his team all geared up and ready to go offworld. He hurried over to them and said, "Sheppard! You can't go offworld at the moment! There are Wraith on Atlantis…" He rubbed his head as another throb went through his assaulted temples and jabbed deeply into his forehead. It made him screw his eyes tightly closed and he felt his knees buckling.

He quickly straightened and walked right up to John and grabbed his shoulders. He shook the Colonel roughly and shouted, "Hello? Wraith in the city! Unless Keller was right and my addled brain just made the whole thing up?"

John frowned in confusion and stared blankly at him. He brought up his hand and planted it on Rodney's chest. He pushed the scientist backwards and the savage strength of the move sent him sprawling in surprise. He grimaced as the impact jarred his already pounding headache and his vision dimmed to almost black before it came back in blinding intensity.

He looked up and a deeper hurt went through him. He said sadly, "Alright. But I'm coming with you. Honestly, what's the point in going offworld without me? You must see there's something missing?"

He picked himself up and dashed to the equipment room and put a tac vest on over his normal uniform. If he was to catch them before they left he had to be quick. He clipped a sidearm around his thigh and frowned. He should really be going back to the lab that had started the whole fiasco, but he could not abandon his team to their fate on the planet.

What if there was technology there and they got trapped? They would be angry with him if he were late. Perhaps that was why they were milling around in the Gate Room. They were waiting for him…

He had to slow down to walk when he hissed in pain as his vision dipped again and the never ending agony gripping him reasserted itself. Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea after all? But Keller had not told he him he could not return to normal duties. Then again, no one in the infirmary had properly taken care of him after his injury until he forced the issue. He was in too much pain to think through what was going on and he had already reached the gate room.

His team were still there standing around in silence. They did not acknowledge him as he said, "Okay, I'm here. We can go now."

John waved his hand above his head in a circular motion and nearly hit McKay as he called out, "Dial it up."

The woman who had pushed Rodney out of the way nodded down at them and hammered the symbols on the DHD. The wormhole formed and Rodney loyally followed his team out.

* * *

Rodney furrowed his brow in misery as his team continued to ignore him after they had stepped through the gate. They appeared at a loss for what to do and John asked, "So. Let's go check this place out."

"Oh, please," Rodney huffed and pulled out his hand scanner. He spun around in a circle on the cool, cloudy world. The gate was in the middle of a large field of waist high grass and there were no obvious tracks or paths. They would have to wade through it to get anywhere and Rodney now felt sorry that he was not in his proper offworld gear. The material was sturdier than the flimsy cloth covering him and he knew he was going to get poked by the grass through his clothing. He was also fairly certain that if there were any thorns or other unpleasant stinging plants, he would find them and get hurt.

John, Teyla and Ronon had started walking off in a random direction and Rodney called out to them with his eyes still on the scanner, "Hey! Where are you going? The database shows that the lab was this way." He pointed in the opposite direction and continued, "Although I'm not reading any power signatures."

The others abruptly stopped and John asked, "Can you hear something?" He gripped his P90 more tightly and Ronon unholstered his blaster.

"I'm right here! Don't you even remember I came with you?" Rodney whined desperately and went over to them. He ignored the tickling sensation of the long grass around his exposed skin and went right up to the others.

John swung his P90 around towards Rodney and he flinched when the gun angled so that it was pointing at his chest. He moved out of the way and John tracked his movements as he gazed straight through him unnervingly.

Rodney was afraid that he was going to be shot so he stopped moving and kept quiet. Although he thought the pounding of his heart was so loud they would be able to hear it.

John suddenly ran at him and lifted up the gun, he swept it forwards and Rodney only a moment to raise his arm and block the strike as John tried to pistol-whip him in the head. The blow caught his arm and made him stagger.

John frowned and lowered the muzzle point blank next to Rodney's side. His confused eyes met the terrified scientist's for a fraction of a second and he narrowed his eyes in recognition. "Rodney?"

"Yes yes! Don't shoot me!"

John looked down at his gun and quickly lowered it, "Oh, sorry. I didn't see you there."

Rodney sighed in relief and said, "I know."

Ronon frowned at them, "Who are you talking to, Sheppard?"

John turned to look at Ronon and answered, "It's McKay."

Teyla narrowed her eyes at them, "I do not see anyone there. Who is McKay?"

Rodney grimaced and John looked back at him and a cloud passed over his eyes and he frowned, "I don't know. You're right, Ronon. There's no-one here other than us."

"What am I invisible again!? This can't be happening."

John lifted his gun again and jabbed Rodney in the stomach with the barrel. He winced and braced himself for the bullet which was about to fly from the end and tear him in half. But it never came.

John shrugged and walked with Teyla and Ronon as they went back over to the gate.

Rodney rested a hand over the bruise and said, "Don't you wonder why you came here in the first place? What use is having three military types on a planet like this?"

They ignored him and kept going. Rodney mumbled, "Suppose I'll have to look after myself then."

He followed his team as they wandered aimlessly for a few minutes. John pulled out his own scanner and said, "No life signs." He suddenly raised his fist. "Hold up!" Teyla and Ronon were immediately on alert and their eyes tracked around the long grass looking for danger

Rodney stopped a few metres behind them and glanced at his own scanner. There were still no energy readings and he hoped John had finally spotted him on the reader.

John pointed at Rodney and said, "There's a single life sign moving towards us from that direction."

Rodney frowned in confusion, "But I'm not moving!"

Suddenly a heavily blow to his back sent him onto his front and pain exploded across his shoulder as pressure crushed down on him. He yelped and rolled over onto his back. He had a fleeting glimpse of a large lion-like creature pinning him to the ground and raised his arm up to protect his body from the biting jaws. They clamped down on his forearm and he cried out in pain as the pressure increased and the teeth punched through his sleeve and drew blood.

Ronon asked, "What's it doing?"

Teyla replied, "It seems to be attacking something, but there is nothing there."

John said, "Stun it."

Rodney heard the words coming over to him, but the claws of the creature were now deeply imbedded in his torso and he batted its head away with his uninjured arm as it leered down to try to tear out his throat again. One of the feet rested heavily on his hip and he could not reach his sidearm.

A red light suddenly enveloped the creature and the shockwave passed into Rodney and he tensed as it set his muscles on fire. It was only a secondary reaction to the blast and did not render him unconscious. The creature collapsed down on him and he was suddenly aware of exactly how heavy the thing was as it crushed him and he got a face full of unclean, smelly fur. He could hardly breathe and his ribs creaked under the strain. His clothes felt damp and he trembled as he closed his eyes.

He was glad that the creature had stopped ripping and tearing him to pieces, but he knew he was bleeding badly and if the others could still not see him, then he would be in serious trouble. He tried to shift the animal off him, but a sharp pain in his side and shoulder left him gasping. The claws were still in him.

"Rodney!" A female voice cried.

John and Ronon were peering down at him looking puzzled. Ronon asked, "How did you get here?"

They made no motions to help him and he winced, "Hurts."

John crouched down and with Teyla's help, they rolled the animal away from Rodney. The claws were wrenched from his flesh and he cried out and pressed his working arm against his middle. He could not explain what had happened as all his focus and strength was channelled into breathing and trying not to let the nausea from the pain, the smell of the animal and the metallic scent of his own blood overwhelm him.

His team bandaged his arm and shoulder and then expertly wrapped more material around the puncture wounds all over his torso. None appeared to be that deep but they hurt individually and the combination of all of them together made Rodney whimper while they worked.

Ronon gathered him up in his arms and carried him the short distance back to the gate and home. By then he was almost out of it and before he knew that he had gone through the wormhole, he relinquished his failing grip on consciousness and the world turned black.

* * *

Rodney woke up in the infirmary again and groaned. He could feel tight bandages around his arm, shoulder and torso, but there was no-one sitting next to him and no-one came over when he returned to awareness.

He looked at his forearm and gritted his teeth. The bandage was spotted with dark-brown blood were it had dried, but no-one had cleaned and redressed the injury. It could not have been broken as there was no cast on it. He looked down at himself and his scrubs were also bloodstained where he had continued to bleed unnoticed. Stinging pain was coming from numerous areas of his body and he furrowed his brow.

He tried to grab for the call button again, but it was out of his reach and he hissed in pain as the IV line needle in the back of his hand pulled. He looked up at the bag and noticed that it was empty. Whatever painkillers and fluids had been draining into him to keep him alive had been thoroughly absorbed and not replaced.

He had no idea how long he had been there and he knew he was lucky not to have died from the neglect. He steeled himself and pulled the needle from his hand. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and closed his eyes as he swayed and tried to get his bearings. He felt light headed and the aching in his skull suddenly returned with a vengeance. He held his injured arm across his chest and forced himself to stand. He felt clotted wounds reopening all over his chest and abdomen and a warm, damp feeling spread out under the tight bandages.

"Gotta… get… back… to that… lab." He said to himself.

If he could shut down or figure out what was in there, he knew he would be alright and maybe people would see him again and not leave him to bleed and die in the one place where they should have been helping him heal.

He stumbled forwards and into the office off the infirmary. There were a couple of nurses talking about the latest movie to have been shown and did not notice him as he shuffled over to them and clamped his other arm down on the oozing puncture wounds.

He went right over to them and grabbed the headset right off the ear of one of them. She abruptly stopped talking and looked right back at him with a puzzled expression. Her eyes suddenly snapped back to her companion and she carried on as if nothing had happened.

Rodney placed the curl of plastic behind his ear and hardened his heart against the pain and torture he was about to put himself through to get help.

He held onto the wall with one hand as he walked along the corridor and was glad the transporter was near the infirmary. He was so close to passing out, it felt like he was walking on air. He was completely disconnected from the world around him as a loud rushing sound muffled the noise of his bare feet slapping on the ground as he staggered.

The transporter still knew he was there and responded to his touch when he tapped the screen. A moment later, he was back in the corridor where this had all started. He had lost track of time and had no idea of how long he had been unconscious.

He concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other, because he knew that if he fell now, he would never get up again and would not be found.

He reached the lab in a haze of weariness and it did not register that it was strange there were no Wraith around, nor any sign of the device they had used to shoot him before.

He collapsed to his knees and curled his hand against his chest as he kept his useless injured arm tightly against his body to lessen the jarring pain and horrendous pull on the wounds he received whenever he moved it.

He crawled over to the control panel in the middle of the lab and hauled himself upright with a long exhalation. The glowing lights on the console blurred disconcertingly and he blinked a few times until he could see the true nature of the buttons he needed to test.

He had no idea where to start and his head ached and he suddenly felt cold as white prickles tinged the edges of his vision. His blood seemed to have run down to his feet and his heart laboured in his chest to pump round the reduced flow and keep him conscious. He fell down onto his back and glanced up at the underside of the console blearily. He saw a few wires and reached up and gave them a tug with his uninjured arm. They came away and the lights in the lab were extinguished.

He used the last vestiges of strength he had left to tap the pilfered headset, even as the inviting howl of unconsciousness tried to drag him away permanently.

"McKay to infirmary. I, uh, I think I'm bleeding…"

His arm flopped down beside his head. The howl became a roar as it filled his senses and then there was nothing but silence.

* * *

Rodney woke up to the smell of antiseptic and a bleeping heart monitor next to his ear. He kept his eyes closed and took stock of his body before he proceeded any further. He did not feel hungry and he could sense an analgesia numbed ache somewhere below where he could feel it, in his head, shoulder, arm and torso.

There was a gentle, soft pressure around his uninjured hand and he gripped and held on as tightly as he could.

"Ouch!"

Rodney heard another hiss and then a man spoke, "McKay, you can let go now. I'm here. I can see you and you're safe."

Rodney loosened his clenched fist, but not so much that the hand in his could get away. He narrowly opened his eyes and blinked in the harsh lights.

Jennifer was looking down at him in concern and he tried to smile at her, "You know I'm here?"

She furrowed her brow sadly and squeezed his shoulder. She left her hand resting against him and he felt his skin warming pleasantly under her touch. Rodney turned and looked at John who was next to him and was the one still maintaining the anchoring and comforting grip around his hand.

He looked down at himself and saw that his scrubs and the sheets and bandages were now clean and instead of a just another bandage around his arm, it was in a cast. He frowned and asked, "What happened?"

Jennifer's grip tightened and she said quietly, "You were badly injured when we found you. Some of the wounds had been partially treated, but you'd been bleeding for a while. We found more blood all over the bed you had been in, but we just hadn't seen you. There was nothing… I just didn't…" She looked away and blinked slowly when her eyes became glassy.

"Hey," Rodney said. She looked back at him. "There was something about that lab. You weren't the only one who ignored me."

John tightened his grip on Rodney's hand to get his attention. "Zelenka checked it out after we found you. He did a full analysis and found some useful data in the control console. He said there was a device in there which makes the user… not invisible as such, but their mind can block the image and memories of themselves from others when they want to. You took a massive dose, so only when you were in need and danger of death were you able to break through to be seen by us."

"So, the worse my condition got, the more chance I had for you to see me. Must've only worked when I was conscious though or I wouldn't have been left in such a bloody mess right here in the infirmary."

Jennifer baulked and her grip tightened so much that Rodney felt his shoulder bruising under her hand.

Rodney looked down at himself and cleared his throat. "Uh, that's the only one that still works and I'd like to keep it that way." She quickly desisted, but kept her hand resting on him. She moved it around until it was against his upper chest instead.

She said softly, "Your arm was broken, but we didn't set it properly or give you a cast. You still had the field dressings on when you were found. You'd lost a huge amount of blood from all the lacerations and your concussion was still not completely better either. You should never have gone offworld."

Rodney grimaced and sighed. "No-one exactly tried to stop me."

They stayed there in silence for a moment and Rodney closed his eyes as he felt tiredness taking him down once more.

John looked down and said quietly, "That was genuinely creepy." He glanced up at Rodney who had opened his eyes at the quiet voice. "It was like there was a gap in my head where you should've been, but I couldn't break through and find out what was missing."

"What about the Wraith?" Rodney asked.

John shook his head, "We did a full check, but no-one found anything and Teyla's Wraith sense didn't alert us to any presence either. Zelenka reckons the radiation from the device in that lab caused this. You absorbed a lot of it when you got near, which is why you were the only one affected. But it's all dissipated now," he shrugged, "so we'll never know."

Jennifer patted Rodney's chest and then lifted her hand away. He begrudged the loss of the soothing touch, but he could not voice his sadness. Jennifer said, "We think that the Wraith were a hallucination caused by your brain's reaction to the initial exposure and your tiredness at the time."

"I hope so." Rodney sunk back into the pillows and sighed before he closed his eyes again. "I'm just glad you can see me again."

John smiled, "It's always nice to be noticed, isn't it, McKay?"

A ghost of an upward twitch pulled at the corners of Rodney's lips, but tiredness caught him before the expression could fully form.

Jennifer adjusted some of the lines and checked the monitors again before she walked away. John was left there with his friend and he had no intention to leave for quite some time.

The End

_A/N -__** ed263/ElisaD263**__ requested a 'Rodney has a headache' fic, so here you are…_


	6. The Horcluff

_A/N – This is more of an overindulgent Rodney story and exercise to try and get myself back into writing again after a bit of a crisis recently. Thought that as I wrote it, I might as well share it!_

**Summary** – Rodney's about to find out all about exactly what it is the locals call, 'The Horcluff!'

**Rating** – K+

**_The Horcluff_**

Rodney stood with his team in a large hall. The people they had met seemed friendly enough, but he could not help the paranoia building up inside him. They were _too_ nice; they must be hiding something!

He abruptly blurted, "What's your secret? Why are you all smiles and not wanting to kill us?"

Sheppard glared at him and then looked back to the gathered leaders for their answer anyway. Rodney knew he probably had the same suspicion. The hall was enormous, but there were only three people posing as the leaders.

The tallest man spoke with a sneer, "We are not hiding anything." He turned to Sheppard, "But if your companion cannot keep his silence, maybe we will hide _him_."

Another man quickly put his hand on the tall man's arm, "My Lord, no! We could use their help."

The third man spoke, "I agree."

Teyla smiled at them and asked, "What is it you require? We are keen to find new trading partners."

The tall man grinned at her, but Rodney did not see any happiness there, in fact, there was no warmth in the expression at all. He suddenly waved and before Rodney could move, feathered darts took down his team. None of them reached their weapons in time and Rodney had his hand hovering near his side arm, but decided against retaliation when he turned and saw at least twenty guards behind all aiming their bows at him.

He opened his mouth in shock and shakily raised his hands up in surrender. He turned back to the three leaders and shouted, "What the hell was that for?! What's going on?"

The tall man indicated Teyla and said, "What we _require _is a sacrifice to appease the Horcluff."

Rodney lowered his hands and held them palms face up to the leaders as he gabbled, "What's the Horcluff? No no no! Why are you doing this? What did we do? Let us go!"

His answer came when three strong guards took hold of him. He struggled as they removed his sidearm and tac vest. Once it was clear, one of them punched him in the back, right in the kidney, and then smacked him in the side of the head. Rodney staggered and muttered, "My team! Got to rescue them and get back to the gate…"

Hands grabbed his wrists and he pulled and twisted and aimed a few low kicks at his captors, but that only earned him another punch, in the gut this time, and he doubled over, gasping.

His arms were drawn behind his back and fastened together so tightly he almost instantly lost the feeling in his fingers. He was then gagged, blindfolded and had his legs kicked out from under him. He landed with a heavy grunt and his ankles were then tied too. He wriggled away as he felt hands touching him, then there was a sudden sharp pain in the centre of his chest and then nothing.

* * *

Rodney woke up and groaned. He kept his eyes tightly shut, but he could no longer feel the piece of cloth tied around his head obstructing his sight. There were still bands around his wrists and ankles… and his neck now too.

His back hurt, his belly hurt and his head throbbed unrelentingly. As he drew in a shaky breath to try and calm his nerves he discovered his chest hurt too.

He winced and screwed up his face. Where were the others? What had happened to him after they had knocked him out? Where was he? Why couldn't he move?

The Horcluff!

Rodney's eyes snapped open and he instantly regretted it. The sun was shining in his face through the trees above and as he tilted his head up as far as he could given the constricting object tied around his neck, his eyes widened even more.

He looked left and right and saw that his arms were splayed out and staked to the ground. His legs were also tied down and the kind locals had stolen his shirt and probably his trousers too as his legs were cold. He was lying on the hard ground and completely immobile. He tugged at the restraints, but could not get enough movement to do anything other than bruise his appendages.

The sun was beating down on his bare skin and he smelt something sweet and utterly disgusting. He knew it was not coming from him, at least he hoped it was not.

He furrowed his brow and gazed along the small section of his own body that he could see without strangling himself and noted that his skin was darkened with bruises as well as a sort of sticky, syrupy substance.

"Oh, basting?" He cried in panic. "What's the Horcluff?"

He writhed some more and gritted his teeth, but he was well secured and laid out for anything that wanted to have at him. He closed his eyes when he pulled too hard and cut off the circulation and airflow through his neck.

There was a snuffling sound and then a quiet growl nearby.

"Oh, God! Help me! Help!" He tried shouting, but his voice was scratchy and his throat sore from what felt like thin, metal wiring slicing his skin.

The growl turned into a roar at his struggling and calling out. He saw a creature come bounding up to him out of the corner of his eye and turned to face it. "The Horcluff…" he breathed as it stood there and looked at him.

The monster walked on all fours, it was about the size of a tiger, but a hideous ugly thing. Its fur was dull brown and it had small horns on its head. Its mouth was slightly open and drool came out and splattered to the ground in dangly strings from between rows upon rows and small, razor sharp teeth.

Rodney cried out to it, "No! No! Don't eat me! I'll be tough and chewy and taste horrible after lying here for however long it's been. Go and find those idiots who did this to me and chow down on them."

The animal growled again and came over to him slowly, almost tentatively. Rodney grimaced and tugged at the restraints again, a nervous sweat was forming on his skin and the combination of the smell from the liquid poured on him and his own fear made him feel nauseous.

The creature leant forwards over him and he felt its warm breath over his skin. It made him flinch and the hairs all over his body stood up as they swayed in the putrid breeze and tickled him. The monster growled and opened its mouth widely as it lowered its head down towards Rodney's exposed midsection.

He tensed up and turned his face away in preparation for the first bite where he was about to be eaten alive.

He flinched massively when something touched his side and then worked its way up and over his belly. He bunched his face up and held his breath. The sensation left him and then started again on the side of his chest. He whimpered in panic as he released his breath. Two heavy weights rested on his upper body and he gritted his teeth as the strange, tingling feeling moved up his chest and passed over his throat and face.

He had expected the pain to have hit him by now and he was actually glad that the universe had finally decided to cut him a break and numb all the agony as the monster crunched his ribs where it stood on him and hungrily munched its way through his flesh.

"Hey, boy, what have you got there?"

Rodney frowned, the tickle had moved down to his belly again and he opened his eyes in curiosity. If this was what being eaten alive felt like, then maybe it wasn't as bad as he thought it was going to be.

He flinched again and cried out when he saw that the salivating creature was dragging its enormous tongue across his skin as it lapped up the substance the locals had basted him in. "Oh, that's so gross! Shoo, shoo!" He called out to it as it slobbered all over him and he squirmed to try and get away from it.

There was a whistle nearby and the monster's fur bristled and it grudgingly lifted its huge paws from Rodney and almost rolled its eyes with intelligence Rodney had not noticed before in his primal fear. He watched it trot away and trembled with unspent adrenaline.

A man came out and the creature bounded over and made a half meowing woof in affection. "Hey, hey, Horcluff! What's all this?"

The man looked around and spotted Rodney staked out his face fell in concern. He furrowed his brow and opened his mouth, "Oh, another one!"

He quickly ran over with Horcluff on his heels and unsheathed a knife. Rodney's eyes flitted down to the blade and he turned his face away again and closed his eyes as tightly as he could in fear as he waited to be stabbed in his vulnerable state.

The man said, "Do not be afraid. I am not going to hurt you." He swiftly cut through the ropes binding Rodney to the ground. He did it carefully so as not to cut him as they were very close to his skin.

He frowned as he looked down at McKay's battered body and said, "They also beat you before they did this?"

Rodney nodded and sighed and the moment one of his arms was free he drew it over his middle and curled his hand around his side. Horcluff came snuffling over to him again and its long tongue poked him in the ribs. Rodney pushed it away with his free hand and it head butted playfully into his palm.

The man laughed, "Oh, do not mind Horcluff! The men from the town think he is a terror so they keep leaving people out here as a means of execution."

"Who are you?" Rodney croaked. "Have you seen anyone else recently?"

"A few." The man freed Rodney's legs last of all and took off his jacket and wrapped it around Rodney's shoulders as he helped him upright. Horcluff came round and shoved as well. The animal's fur brushed the backs of Rodney's bare legs and it was warm and soft against him after the hardness of the ground.

The man said, "I am Horan."

"Dr Rodney McKay."

Horan drew Rodney's arm over his shoulders, but Rodney shook off the support. "It's okay. Do you have any food or water though? I don't know how long I've been there for, but I'm hungry and I've got hypoglycaemia. I could die if I don't eat soon!"

"Sure." Horan passed him a small bottle and a piece of dried meat from his bag. Rodney eyed the food warily, but the weakness in his limbs and light-headed feeling through the headache made him push the revulsion and reluctance away and he wolfed it down.

The creature was still looking at both of them dolefully as it sat on its oversized haunches with its tongue hanging out…the tongue that had just been licking Rodney. He shuddered and suddenly felt the urge to shoo it away again after its intimate contact. He could feel that much of his body was still damp with saliva and he grimaced.

Rodney passed back the bottle and said, "Thanks for the dried dead thing and water. What's going on around here?"

"When the others leave people pinned out like that, they do usually get eaten by the pack, with Horcluff's help, I rescue as many as I can."

Horcluff suddenly yapped and ran away. Horan said, "Oh, what now?"

He turned to Rodney, who was looking at his bare feet as they nestled in the undergrowth and he wondered if he was going to get an infection from the prickles he was standing on.

Horan said, "Wait here."

Rodney looked up to protest at being left alone, but Horan had already vanished. He drew the edges of the jacket together over his chest and trembled. The adrenaline rush was long gone from the initial distress of waking up to find that he had been laid out for anything to come and eat. He felt cold and he was now in a lot of pain from the bruises. It felt like he had received a few more blows just out of spite after he had been rendered unconscious.

He could not believe how lucky he had been. What if there had been flesh-eating ants? Or carnivorous squirrels? The tiny little monsters would have taken him apart piece-by-piece and it would have taken hours of agony for him to die.

His bare legs were freezing and the jacket really was not doing much to warm him up. The slimy dog-tiger dribble all over him was not helping and making him feel sick as he stood there by himself.

He called out, "Hello! I'm hurt and still stuck here without any shoes!"

"McKay?" A man shouted back.

"Sheppard."

Rodney heard the rustling of the bushes and turned around in time to see the rest of his team, along with Horan and his pet coming through the branches.

They all looked shocked at his appearance and Rodney looked away and down at the ropes and stakes still in the ground where he had been lying.

Horan said to the others, "Is this the man you were looking for?"

Ronon grunted, "Yes, that's him."

Horan continued, "Sorry he's a bit of a mess, but Horcluff got all excited and cleaned most of it off. I think that's why they do it. They think he eats people. But they only ever leave offworlders out here. We rescue them and escort them back to the gate to go home."

Sheppard nodded. "Thanks. We can take him from here."

Rodney winced as he folded his arms. Now that his limbs were free and the feeling had returned, they were incredibly stiff and sore from being stretched out for who knows how long he was lying in the dirt.

Sheppard came over and removed his jacket before putting his tac vest on again. "Give him back his jacket back, Rodney."

McKay drew it more tightly closed around himself. He did not want the others to see the bruises where he had not been able to block or prevent the locals from hitting him. That would only increase their shock and pity and he knew Sheppard would be disappointed that he had let himself be beaten and bruised so badly. They had spent enough time in the sparring room when the Colonel had forced him to train and he should know how to defend himself by now.

Sheppard repeated, "Rodney, give it back. It's okay now. We're quite close to the gate."

Rodney looked around at them all as they continued to watch him expectantly. He glanced down and his hands were shaking so badly, he was struggling to keep the material closed around him.

He asked, "How did you get away?"

Sheppard smiled, "Ronon was still awake after the first stun and waited until we woke up to deck all the guards."

Rodney furrowed his brow, "You overpowered them all?"

Ronon grinned back at him. "Sure, it didn't take much."

"Oh!" Rodney looked down at the ground again in dejection over his weakness and letting himself be pounded, bound and gagged.

Teyla furrowed her brow at him and said, "But we did not prevent them from taking us by surprise."

Ronon came right up to Rodney and carefully pulled his arms away from his chest where he was holding onto the jacket for dear life. The Satedan was too strong for him to get free and even with the extra strength his shame channelled into his weary muscles, he could not resist. Sheppard grabbed the jacket and tossed it to Horan. When he glanced back at Rodney, he gasped and said, "What did they do to you?"

Rodney looked down at himself and winced at the sight of the purple bruising mottled all over his pale chest and abdomen. It even more pronounced than when he had last seen it. He could not imagine his back looked any better either. He shivered and whispered, "Hurts. Cold."

"Right." John shook himself out of his worried gaze and drew his jacket around Rodney's shoulders.

The air was warm, but Rodney was still trembling.

Teyla said, "You do not look well, we should return to Atlantis."

Rodney closed his eyes and hung his head down. Dizziness washed over him and he felt his legs buckling. A soft feeling rubbed against the backs of his legs again and he narrowed his eyes blearily as the Horcluff tried to prevent his fall.

Ronon was now without his shoes and passed them to Rodney. He frowned at them and said, "What about _your_ feet?"

Ronon shrugged, "I've spent a long time without shoes over the years."

Rodney widened his eyes. "Doesn't it hurt?"

"No. It tickles a bit."

Rodney dropped the shoes and pushed his feet into them. The sore bands of red bruising around his ankles protested at the movement, but he gritted his teeth and did it anyway. The shoes were far too big, but better than the sharp pieces of twig and dried leaves that felt like they were cutting his feet open.

With Sheppard and Teyla's help he shuffled back to the gate.

Horan stood a short distance away and hid in the trees with Horcluff. The animal prowled over to the team where they gathered by the DHD and its tongue lolled out of its mouth as it stared at Rodney.

John laughed, "I think it likes you."

Rodney patted the animal's head. He was careful to avoid spearing his hand on one of the horns and it purred loudly and closed its eyes. Rodney smiled even through the pain.

Ronon smirked, "Maybe we should get one to track you the next time you get lost."

Rodney scowled at Ronon and scratched Horcluff's ears.

Horan chuckled and said, "You're welcome to come back any time. Just avoid the town."

Teyla said, "Thank you."

"Yeah, thanks," Rodney agreed. "Just feed Horcluff before you send him into the woods next time."

He turned and clomped through the gate behind Ronon and heard John and Teyla following closely behind.


End file.
